Surviving abuse

I've been thinking a lot lately about my childhood and exactly what i have survived to be here today. I suffered sexual abuse at the hands of my grandfather, physical abuse from my mother and mental abuse from the mind of my father. Mix them all together and you get one messed up child. But how has this affected me as an adult?I've been thinking about the consequences just lately. What sort of person would I be if i was never abused? I'm not really that affected by the physical abuse, mainly the sexual with a tiny bit of the mental thrown int. I was told things so many times I honestly believed them. My grandfather told me noone would believe me, I once tried to tell my mother, no words came out but she walked away, this to me was her not believing me. My father told me that I wasn't good enough, that I was stupid, when in reality my mind just worked too fast for the rest of me, I got bored easily and couldn't concentrate in classes. Proving him wrong was the best day of my life. So far I have proved him wrong 3 times. First in high school when I passed my exams, then again in college and a third time in university when I finished my degree and graduated with honours. So why do I still believe all the things they told me as a child? I was 26 years old when I came clean and admitted to the world I'd been sexually abused. My grandfather died the next day. If I'd come clean earlier would I have confronted him? On his death bed he asked for my aunt's forgiveness. She refused point blank, but what would I have done? I often wonder what sort of person would I be. If I could travel back to any point in time it would be to meet the me who wasn't abused. It would be to meet the me that stayed a virgin until she met the one, not t he me that was raped at a young age. I would love to know what sort of person I would have become, I admit I'm bitter. Without all the abuse and the suffering would i be sat here now feeling the way I do? Would I still have bipolar? Yes I believe I would. Would it have reared its head in such an ugly way all those years ago? No I don't believe it would have. I believe it would still be something I suffer with but not in the same way.I very much believe that bipolar is genetic, its something we are born with, but the way we live our lives, doesn't that affect our mental health in some way?