Survival

   It is hard to imagine that I survived another year here at the highschool.  With all that has happened in the last year....... separation from my kids, early sobriety, disappointment in court, reconcilliation with my family, hurrican Ike, sales drop, debt crisis, layed off from second job, aniexity in court, renunion with my children, divorce!!   Next school year is shaping up to be a little more challenging.  I will be teaching freshman for the first time in 10 years.  That is if stay in teaching.  I considering a career change. One that is much needed to survive.  It will be next to impossible for me to make ends meet and stay on with this teachers salary. So I have the summer to search for alternatives.    My time with the kids has been wonderful.  My oldest is still defensive but a little more relaxed. My son informed that she reports on everything we say and do during visists back to her mom.  My son and youngest daughter are almost back to the way they were before separation.  My youngest climbed into my lap sunday and took a nap. That is the first time she has done that since our reunion.  My son is back to be himself.  I dont know if it is me that is accepting them back or if it is them accepting me back. This rebuilding of our relationship has been very hard on me emotionally. I am sure it is hard for them.  My oldest girl still has her moments.  I know she has alot to deal with so I am patient.      Also, my ex added things to the decree that were not agreed to in court so we will see how that playe out.  I am anxious but I am calm.  I will have the kids in my life again for the forseeable future.  that makes me happy.  God willing, my ex will find peace and will let me go.  I know I have no control over her but I pray for her.