Support
As I mentioned on the depression group, I went to a wellness recovery action plan workshop last night. It was the second week of 12.
There were 5 key concepts discussed that are critical to recovery. One of them discussed was support. It made me realize how I really need a support system. We all need a support system. Yesterday I was so sure I was going to leave DS, but after that workshop I wasn't so sure. In my heart I want to remain on DS, but right now there are so many memories and I'm very thin skinned.
I made a posting about hope since that was also one of the concepts discussed on the depression side and discussed a now ended friendship that gave me hope. It became clear to me that a third party on DS is aware of said ended friendship and subtly brought it up. Nothing was said that was offensive. In fact, there was some pretty good advice.
But being the thin skinned, sensitive person that I am it is hurtful that a 3rd party is mentioning things when I am still here. I don't believe they mean any harm and probably didn't know that I'd pick up on it, but I did. I am not mad and don't have any ill feelings towards someone I don't even know. As far as I've seen on DS they are a very nice person.
I just know for me to remain on DS I can't have feelings being stirred up as unintentional as they may be. So right now I think leaving might be a clean, fresh break that I need. Yet on the other hand, it depresses me that I may have to leave. I like having this support group. I like supporting and helping others. So I'm still undecided. I might need a few days to mull it over. Perhaps everything won't be so fresh then.
And I know that I chose to seek advice on DS about my friendship issues, but that was when they were no longer member and I had no idea if they continued to read or not. I never went to bad mouth someone or hurt them. I just wanted advice. I could not control how others responded. But perhaps it was a poor idea. I don't know. This is a place where we can come to seek support and advice, but it's difficult when it involves a relationship that revolved around DS. I guess it's kinda like two co-workers that end a friendship.
Now there are third parties with one side of the story and it's difficult.
It's also frustrating when you're told move on, move on, move on as if feeling sad at the end of a long term friendship is unnatural. No, what is unnatural is not to have any feelings of sadness after a close bond with many fond memories was ended. Even if it was for the best in the end. Yet people can cry over a person they barely know, but somehow the feelings that come with the end of a long term friendship are somehow unnatural.
I just feel like I'm being made out to feel like I'm crazy or somehow wrong for you know, experiencing the normal emotions when a significant friendship ends. Maybe the people that hurt others just feel guilty. I don't know. It just sucks I can't get a clean break here.
There were 5 key concepts discussed that are critical to recovery. One of them discussed was support. It made me realize how I really need a support system. We all need a support system. Yesterday I was so sure I was going to leave DS, but after that workshop I wasn't so sure. In my heart I want to remain on DS, but right now there are so many memories and I'm very thin skinned.
I made a posting about hope since that was also one of the concepts discussed on the depression side and discussed a now ended friendship that gave me hope. It became clear to me that a third party on DS is aware of said ended friendship and subtly brought it up. Nothing was said that was offensive. In fact, there was some pretty good advice.
But being the thin skinned, sensitive person that I am it is hurtful that a 3rd party is mentioning things when I am still here. I don't believe they mean any harm and probably didn't know that I'd pick up on it, but I did. I am not mad and don't have any ill feelings towards someone I don't even know. As far as I've seen on DS they are a very nice person.
I just know for me to remain on DS I can't have feelings being stirred up as unintentional as they may be. So right now I think leaving might be a clean, fresh break that I need. Yet on the other hand, it depresses me that I may have to leave. I like having this support group. I like supporting and helping others. So I'm still undecided. I might need a few days to mull it over. Perhaps everything won't be so fresh then.
And I know that I chose to seek advice on DS about my friendship issues, but that was when they were no longer member and I had no idea if they continued to read or not. I never went to bad mouth someone or hurt them. I just wanted advice. I could not control how others responded. But perhaps it was a poor idea. I don't know. This is a place where we can come to seek support and advice, but it's difficult when it involves a relationship that revolved around DS. I guess it's kinda like two co-workers that end a friendship.
Now there are third parties with one side of the story and it's difficult.
It's also frustrating when you're told move on, move on, move on as if feeling sad at the end of a long term friendship is unnatural. No, what is unnatural is not to have any feelings of sadness after a close bond with many fond memories was ended. Even if it was for the best in the end. Yet people can cry over a person they barely know, but somehow the feelings that come with the end of a long term friendship are somehow unnatural.
I just feel like I'm being made out to feel like I'm crazy or somehow wrong for you know, experiencing the normal emotions when a significant friendship ends. Maybe the people that hurt others just feel guilty. I don't know. It just sucks I can't get a clean break here.
Replies
You know, people who don\'t know the whole story should just.....well......... maybe they should stay out of it. But, here on DS things are a little more public than you want them to be. This is why I have trust issues. \"Really? What do you know about both sides.\" Try not to take things so personal. I know this is hard because some people can be very callous and rude. The biggest thing is we need to learn from our past and move on to a better future. Easier said than done!! Words can be more hurtful than some realize. Or maybe they realize it and want someone else to hurt!
So glad to see you are still here. But, you have to make the decision to stay or go. Please don\'t allow others to make it for you.
I will keep talking to God about this
ops. Hit wrong button, I guess.
I will keep talking to God about this WITH you.
Once again, I say, make it YOUR decision. Not theirs. I will stand behind you, whatever you decide.
Support is a great thing. I\'m here for you!!
Thank you so much! You are so caring and supportive. I think things would be somewhat easier if it didn\'t involve DS with a third party knowing. I am upset former friend told her it was me. He could have confided in her without letting her know who it was. I have always protected his identity on here. Oh well. Right now I am going to try to stick it out. Former friend is on ignore so we\'ll see what happens.