Supercenter Shopping with mom :) being good to myself :) getting stronger each day :)

SUPER SHOPPING WITH MY MOM!!! :) a special thank you, for my mom :) She did amazing today :) She drove us to the original supercenter, for a nice shopping experience :) awww! :) i'm proud of my mom too, because she drove the distance, and we both really wanted to shop :) my dad had a busy day, he got called into work, so it was my mom and i, that decided to go shopping this afternoon, and it was really good :) i helped my mom with the driving, and it went really smoothly :) The supercenter was nice! :) it went really well :) my mom and i both got some great items :) i used my nice walmart gift card my grandma gave me for my birthday, to get 2 movies, a pair of headphones, and i got 5 packets of garden seeds :) Flowers, and corn seeds for the upcoming garden season :) my mom and i browsed around a lot :) they didn't have any funko mystery minis, they were out of them, but we'll definitely go back there soon :) a woman at the supercenter, needed assistance, getting a container of laundry detergent that was way up on a shelve :) i helped her. :) it made me feel good to help :) the experience was great, and it was so nice, being out :) i felt your loving spirits with us :) i thanked my mom for going shopping :) it was really nice :) i'm going to treat myself to a nice movie night tonight :) it's a beautifully sunny day, with lots of blue sky, and the birds were all out this morning gathering goodies :) i'm continuing to do well, taking good care, focused on positives, and putting my energy into family, friends, and myself :) i'm beginning a healing journey now, and it's comforting, and uplifting knowing you all are by my side, every step of the way :) i'm making some popcorn for tonight, movie night is on! :) iced tea cheers to you all, our dear angel friends :)
Hi angel friends! :) Sunny hugs, from my mom and i, on this beautiful saturday :) We hope you all are doing well, and having a nice day :) my mom and i are very proud :) We went on our own today, to the supercenter, but felt your loving spirits with us :) it was the original supercenter where we went, and it was so nice, and also spontaneous :) my dad got called into work around late morning, for the medical supplies delivery service. my mom and i were thinking about waiting until tomorrow, to go to the supercenter, but decided to go just before 1pm :) we're so glad we decided to go, a sit's a beautiful day, and i really wanted to go out :)i'm so proud of my mom right now, for driving so well, including taking the turnpike home :) i'm gonna treat my mom, to a nice iced tea soon :) awww! :)
It's a good day :) i'm feeling positive, and i'm truly, keeping on, keeping on, each and every day :) had an amazing talk with my mom today, on our way to the supercenter too :) i told her, how wonderful you all are, and how you all have been rallying around me. :) it's been such a whirlwind time for me lately, and one of the hardest times i've ever had to endure in my entire life, and to know, that you all are uplifting me, comforting me, it's so heart-felt :) i just want you all to know, how much i love you all, and appreciate you all being here for me :) The strength, energy, and hope you all are giving me, is motivating me, to do my best, each day, and is helping me with my new goals i have, to become fully whole again, and to once again, spirit dance with those sunflowers in our garden this upcoming garden season :) i'm doing my best every day, and i'm proud of myself :) i'm doing everything, the right way, and healthy way, for healing, and peace :) Thank you all for being here for me, and my family :)
my mom said to me earlier, "Chris, i'll drive today, lets go to the supercenter" :) awww! :) i asked her, if she was sure, and if she wanted to wait until tomorrow, but she said, "lets go" :) i said, "cool" :) it was just before 1pm, and i felt relaxed, focused, and ready to shop :) i got some walmart gift cards for my birthday, and i've been wanting to look at some of the items, and to purchase a few things at the store :) the original supercenter, always holds a special place in my heart :) it's the first store i began to go into, in 2007, when i was deep into my shyness, and social anxiety, and i went there so many times, and eventually gained so much progress with my healing journey :) it feels good going to that store again :) on the way to the supercenter, my mom and i drove slowly, the backroads route, we drove past malerba's farm, golf course, and the peaceful pond :) i didn't see the ducks, but it was just so nice, seeing some great nature sights, and i felt relaxed, and in tune with the day :) i was excited, getting to go shopping at the supercenter with my mom :)
my mom and i had an amazing talk on the way there :) i really opened up my heart, and talked with my mom about things, that have been on my mind in recent weeks. it helped me a lot to talk with her, she's always been a great support to me, and it was comforting getting to talk :) i was helping my mom with the driving too, as she gets a bit nervous about driving, but she handled everything very well :) we took the back-roads to the supercenter, including driving past the big mall where the christmas tree shop is. :) i was happy to be out, and to be enjoying the sunny weather :) we arrived at the supercenter, and parked near the garden entrance :) We walked into the store there, and got to see some plants, and packets of garden seeds :) they had a nice rack of seeds, i bought 5 packs, for 20 cents each :) i got morning glorys flowers seeds, and 2 packs of sweet corn seeds :)
We walked into the store more, it wasn't too busy. :) we browsed around a bit, and then walked over to the electronics area: ) This is the same electronics area, that on february 10th, 2007, when i first went into the supercenter, i bought my very first cell phone that day :) i was so proud, and i remember i was in the store for 10 minutes that experience, and had such an incredible sense of joy, and proudness, i remember writing that day, and sharing about my experience :) it truly was, the first step :) in the electronics section, we looked at the movies :) i completed my, "the fast and the furious" collection, by buying "2 fast 2 furious" movie, and i also bought a sci-fi movie, called "district 9" :) sweet! :) The movies were only $5 each :) i also bought, a new pair of ear-buds headphones :) my other headphones had 1 side not working anymore. it was nice to buy some :)
it was great, browsing at the dvds, i saw some tv shows, and many movies :) i was so proud, i treated myself to 2 new movies :) my mom and i walked over to the cat/dog food aisles, and got some foods for our pets, and then as we walked over to the laundry detergent aisles, a nice lady asked me for assistance :) She needed help, getting a container of laundry detergent :) i helped her :) it made me feel good to help :) it was so nice, and made me smile :) my mom and i went to the foods aisles, she picked up a few items, and we then walked over to the ice cream aisle :) We picked up some frozen pops for my dad, and then went toward the deli, and checkout :) i was looking for the funko mystery minis collectibles, featuring the walking dead figurines, they were out of them. wow! they sell really fast. we'll definitely look again, and also at the other supercenter :) my mom and i went to the checkout, it went smoothly :) i used my nice walmart gift card my grandma gave me, to buy my items i bought today :) i'm gonna thank my grandma tonight when my mom calls her :) i still have 3, walmart gift cards from my birthday, that i will enjoy using soon to buy some items :)
my mom and i went outside after checking out, and i helped put our stuff into our car :) i had no anxiety inside walmart, and no shyness too :) i did so well :) on the way home, we decided to take the turnpike, and my mom said, it was actually easier on the turnpike, than the backroads route :) i could tell my mom was proud, of how well she did, with her driving :) i'm very proud of my mom :) we did really well, and would love to go back to the supercenter again soon :) it's nice, and i think we'll be going there more often. :) maybe even the Christmas tree shop too :) i thanked my mom for going shopping :) We're proud of my dad too, as he's doing really well today, with his deliveries :) earlier, i mentioned about talking with my mom about things :) i wanted to update everyone, about how i'm doing emotionally, and how i'm keeping strong every day :)
HEALING :) Hi angel friends :) i just wanted to do some writing here to share, about how i've been doing, with coping day to day, after sudden big change in my life, on march 27th. the first days, and week since that, were really hard for me. lots of writing, talking, has helped me, and in recent days, especially this past week, i've been feeling like i've been doing better, overall. it's kinda hard to describe at times, as i still feel kinda numb, and left in the dark by her. i have kept really close, with family and friends, and my writings, and daily routines. i've had lots of friends writing to me about things, and i've also been talking with my mom often, especially at night time before i begin to watch a movie. holly was friends with my mom too, and many friends here on ds, who always asked about how she was doing, and cared about her. i feel like, not only has she abandoned me, but also my mom, family, and friends. i continue to have feelings, of upsetness within me, about how she's treated everyone, and put herself first, selfishly in this situation. i haven't heard from her, or holly, and i never heard back from her roommate betty. i wrote betty a letter that first week, and voiced my concerns about holly's mental condition, but i never heard anything back. my mom's quite upset with holly, and her brother.he knows, how much we care about holly, and for him to not have the decentcy to call/text, or even email us, to let us know, if he heard anything new, it's really disheartening. it's made me feel numb, how she just totally cut me out of her life. it's like a sinking feeling. i was a positive energy in her life, and always there for her. i don't understand, how someone can go from, needing someone, to completely abandoning them.
i've been talking with my mom, and friends, about how the months leading up to holly abandoning me, so suddenly, those months, i was there for her, during her moving process, and also with her recent emotional struggles. i never once, told her, i couldn't help her, and i even looked up information online, places for her to stay with her cats, in november/december. i went above, and beyond. i feel betrayed by her, and i also now don't know, how very honest or truthful holly was, as i found out, she wasn't honest with me, about her real age. when i searched for her brother's name (phone number) to contact him as i was worried about her, that march 27th, his name came up, and who he's related too. holly's name, her daughter, parents, their ages, but only had his phone number. holly told me, she was 10 years older than me, that became 7 years older than me she told me, and i know age shouldn't matter, as long as 2 adults care deeply, and love eachother, but i found out, holly isn't in her early 40's, but is 51 years old. she never was truthful to me about that, and now that i know that, i don't know, if she was truly, fully honest with me, about many things. i may never know, as she hasn't reached out to me at all. that's one of the most awful feelings, just being cut completely out of someone's life, it's devastating, anytime it happens. she went through a lot emotionally, and took me with her, on that rollercoaster ride, march 23rd, through the early hours of march 27th. getting 2 cell phones, having me call one, and text the other. one day i could text, the next i couldn't, it was wild. the confusion was unbelievable that week, it was driving me crazy.
my mom believes, that maybe, holly was leading a double life, and it just came up to a head, all of a sudden, and she couldn't take it anymore, and i was the one who got abandoned. we may never know, fully what was on her mind, and why she hurt me the way she did. i didn't deserve it. part of me, never wants to hear from her again. part of me feels, she doesn't deserve to be in my heart anymore. if she thinks she can contact me a month or two from now, or months down the road, and think i'll listen to her, i won't talk with her. that's how i feel right now after all the hurt and pain she's caused me and her leaving me in the dark. she ruined a wonderful close bond, friendship, and relationship. she's had her opportunity to reach out to me, and hasn't. her brother could have gotten back to me. he hasn't. she hurt me very badly, and i want to heal, and to move on from her, and to not be in contact with her. i've not contacted her at all, since march 27th. i'm proud of myself.
Writing, and Talking with my mom, and friends, has helped me a lot, to cope, to get a better understanding of things. i did share so much with holly, when she and i were close, and had our relationship. the first days after march 27th, were so hard for me. i felt extremely lost, and abandoned by her. in the past week, i've had more feelings, emotions settle, and it's helped me, to be able to focus better, to realize, that even without holly in my life, i can have happiness, i have my family, friends, i have my goals, hobbies, nature, writings. :) i have a lot going for me, and i know, that it's very devastating, what happened to me, but i'm not gonna let it hold me back, and i'm gonna continue to heal, i will get my full writing spirit back, i will have spirit soaring days again, with the ones who love me most, my family and friends. :) i'm a strong person, but when this all happened, with holly, it was like my world was tipped upside down, but the stability and blessing that has got me back on my feet again, are my family and friends, who i appreciate very much :) writing and talking is helping me, i'm so glad, and thankful to have a journal to write in :) to share my feelings, emotions, experiences :)
All that i have been through, the past 6 months, with holly, and helping her, i had lots of stress, anxiety, became forgetful, and was trying so hard, to be there for her, emotionally. i tried, my very hardest. now, as i see what she has done to me, and abandoned me, i'm taking these days now, going forward, to heal. to heal myself, to let myself heal from the experiences i had, and i'm becoming my full self again. i deserve happiness, peace, and to be able to feel relaxed and to take good care of my health. :) i gave her, and our relationship my all, every day. i've been reminding myself, that what holly did to me, i didn't deserve it, and i at least deserved an explanation, and got nothing from her. each day, gets a little easier for me, to deal with this extreme loss, that i never saw coming, her abandoning me, the way she did. she took advantage of me. i had to put away, all the cards, and gifts she has sent me, over the years. i put those items in boxes in my other room. it's been too painful to see these items, and hurts my heart. i'm gonna continue to heal, to reflect, to learn, grow, and get stronger, from this experience, and i'm gonna be ok :) i am ok, and i'm beginning a very big healing journey for me now, i'm in the process now, of being able to move past this, and moving forward, no matter how long it takes, i know as long as i have my family and friends, i'll be alright, and i'll heal. :) i'm adapting to my new days, new way of life, for me, without her. Thank you angel friends, for being here for me :) i've mentioned to my mom often, about how you all are helping me so much, helping me focus, and helping me, to keep motivated, and determined to do my best, every day :)
We're having a good saturday :) Supercenter shopping, writing, and looking forward to more good days :) my family and i are doing well :) i'm gonna make some hot air popcorn tonight, and going to watch a movie :) it's nice, treating ourselves :) i'm having a peach iced tea, that i got this morning, from dunkin donuts when my sister Lisa and niece Alyssa went there :) i'm feeling positive, and continuing to look forward more and more :) i wrote some cards earlier today, and i want to do some more writing tomororw :) it's gonna be nice :) We'll be mailing cards on wednesday next week :) i have a friendship sign here in my computer room, it says, "Friends, are the most important ingredient in the recipe for life" :) it's so true :) Thank you angel friends, for all of your amazing support, guidance, encouragement, and for believing in me, and having faith in me :) we appreciate everything, with all of the love of our hearts :) sending a big group comforting sunshine hug :) i'm going to enjoy a nice movie night tonight :) There's lots more good times, and days to look forward too :)
-never lose hope :)
To Wildthing, Peaceful Gentle Moments of the day :) Wildthing, mom and i enjoyed our adventure to the supercenter today :) i treated myself to some nice items, including garden seeds :) it's a beautifully sunny day :) Thinking of you, our dear friend :)
my mom says hello :) She says, "Chris and i did well today, we went to the supercenter. i hope e everyone had a good day" :) awww! :) we love you all very much, our sweet dear wonderful guardian angel friends :) hey, supercenter today :) WE DID IT!!! :) high five :) smiles :) We hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying a nice saturday :)
Supercenter Shopping :) my mom and i enjoyed shopping today at the original supercenter :) it was great, to go out, to shop, and got some nice items there :) i used my gift card my grandma gave me for my birthday, and treated myself to 2 new movies, a pair of ear-buds headphones, and 5 packs of garden seeds :) there's nasturiums, morning glories, and sweet corn seeds :) i'm very happy my mom and i went shopping today :)


Spring nature joys :) i went outside this late afternoon, and took a few new pictures, of our sprouting, blossoming spring plants :) it's wonderful to see the sprouts, and plants doing well :) it's sunny, and breezy today :)
Our Daffodils :) Golden garden smiles :)
Tiger Lillies :) Sprouting up, and beginning their garden journeys :) my dad and i planted 2 of these plants in our front yard garden, in 2009, and they have multiplied into about 30 tiger lillies plants :)
Hyacinth's :) These are lovely spring flowers, that blossom :) We have peach/purple colored hyacinth's in our garden :)


Hi angel friends :) it's a good day :) in my journal tomorrow, i want to share about some nice treasures i recieved :)