Sunrise

Can see the sun coming up, cold out but supposed to warm up to about 50 today. I set a record yesterday as I was able to "hold it" for about 5 minutes while I jumped in my bucket truck and drove to a bathroom, as soon as my body knows it is close to the jon the doody is literally forcing its way out. I am starting to wonder if a lot of this is in my head, that is what really pisses me off about my UC is that is makes you doubt your own sanity at times. Loss of control for me is devastating emotionally, most days I can laugh it off but when it happens repeatedly my ego takes a big hit. I have learned so many things about myself since this all started. I always thought I was pretty tough emotionally but with this it definitely exposes all the chinks in the armor. I truly believe my daily struggles have made me a more patient man, more compassionate and less prideful. Teaching me the true meaning of humility and grace under pressure. It has made me a better husband and father and a better human being. Teaching me to not judge others until I walk a mile in there shoes. How to be an advocate for my health and to demand not just ask for the answers to my many questions. So for all the bad I have experienced during this journey I would have to say that I have been blessed with many valuable lessons and gifts. I know for a fact that what all of us deal with on a daily basis would crush many individuals and I am happy to take on that burden, maybe not exactly happy but lets say willing. Life is full of lessons and sometimes they really suck but I always keep in mind how much worse it could be. A little poop in the pants never killed anyone and my bruised ego always heals. When it kicks my ass to the ground I pout for a while and feel sorry for myself then stand back up, dust myself off and start over again. Somedays it seems as though I am staring up at the peak of Everest, like I made it almost to the top and slid all the way back down on my keister. Then it is all about turning around and beginning the climb all over, not looking forward and not looking back but concentrating on taking one step at a time. This is my journey, my life that I have been blessed with so let the day begin.