Sunday Rambling

7:45am Sunday morning. Every time I think things are getting better...bam! I moved back into Santee Lakes RV park last Wednesday. Wasn't able to spend the night until Thursday. Friday morning while I was vacuuming I noticed the carpet in one corner was damp. Then I realized it was wet in the corner. I have enough sense to go outside to see what is close to that corner, both the water heater and the city water connection are right there, so I turned off the water and contacted a friends husband here in the park to see if he could tell me what I should actually do about it. He took off a panel but couldn't see a drip or anything wrong. Let the carpet dry for the day.  Had to go to work Saturday(SAT test proctoring)so I turned on the water, took a shower and went to bed. Saturday morning the corner was wetter than it ever was so I now have turned off the water and must wait until Monday to call and see what it will cost to repair what ever is wrong. I own a travel trailer, but not a truck. I know it sounds ridiculous how do you move a trailer without a truck? Well I bought the trailer first with the idea I would get a used truck. At least for 6 months I would have a place to live that I could afford. I thought I would have a job by September and then would be able to buy the truck with a loan. I have EXCELLENT credit but supposedly no income(funny how the IRS considers spousal support income but no one else does.?!)and since no job has come through I have not been able to buy a truck. My spousal support does not cover the cost of an apartment, the utilities, plus food and gas for me to live. By living in the RV park I am stretching my money to its fullest extent. It is a lot like camping full time, but with amenities. Yes I have TV and Internet those two alone make this like living in heaven. Yes my trailer is clean and comfortable. It can sleep 8 people if you are truly camping. But for normal living it sleeps 5 comfortably. That sounds fantastic and it sure isn't bad, but this trailer is only 31 1/2 ft long. That is on the smaller side for a Motor home, average for a fifth wheeler and tiny for a toy and trailer hauler. For me as a single person it is more than adequate. I can cook my own meals(that saves a lot of money!) I am not as isolated as living in a rented room. There is a club house here in the park, every Monday we have a potluck,afterward there is a group that plays cards until around 9pm. On Friday evenings they play games and cards again. I have joined the group and have a great time. I can go to the dollar store and decorate my space and trailer for whatever holiday it is. People in general are fairly friendly. Yes some are a lot older but more are closer in age to me. The downside, 99 percent are couples. This can bother me, but surprisingly not that much. Until I met my ex, I spent 38 years as a single and had a lot of couple friends. In fact that is how I met my ex, there was a friend (she was married/no children)from work, changed jobs and met another couple and the wives decided they were going to practice some matchmaking. I was their guinea pig. I thought at the time I had finally found Mr. Right and thanked them profusely. Now I wish I had never met him. I think some times that is really too cruel. Because if I never had met him I wouldn't have married him and had the kids. But then reality sets in, and I say, yeah, I wish I had never met him! Then I would not have had two kids I will never have a relationship with, and I wouldn't be in such pain. Having no relationship with the children I bore and raised is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Nothing compares. I would have stayed in that terrible marriage if I had known I would lose my kids. They are my life. I know children grow up, your relationship changes, but I never got to see my daughter go on her first date, go to her senior prom, celebrate her graduation from High School. I never will get to see my son get his drivers license, either one of my kids get their first job, I will never get to take my kids to college and help them organize or decorate their first dorm room. I will not be there to meet my daughters first love or my son's. I will not be invited to attend any graduations,marriages, births or even funerals. I can't hardly live with that. But my Ex will be the beloved "Grandpa" and will pick and choose what events he wants to bother with. There will be nothing for me. Now that he knows I have no lawyer he wants to make arrangements immediately, if not sooner, to finalize the divorce(the divorce was made official last January 6th,2010 but the personal property and division of material property in the house were left pending)  by giving me my PERSONAL belongings. I have been trying to get my belongs for over a year, but my ex and his lawyer have done everything possible to drag out my having me things. Why would he now be willing to quickly give me what I have been unable to get for over a year. His lawyer is not spinning the story that "poor Mr.XXXXX has been freely storing my belongings and really would like to finalize this divorce if I would only allow it by getting my things out of his garage???? Yet he is the one that got a restraining order against me so I can't come within a hundred yards of him or his property, so how am I supposed to get my things. I already had a judge order him to let me get my things last July, but his lawyer took so long filing her paper work, that the paper work wasn't official until 4 days after I was supposed to get my things. So why now does he want everything out of his garage ASAP? I know I am just being paranoid but I think there is an ulterior motive that will end of hurting me if I go along with this. Then again all I want is my things. So we shall see what will happen.