Sunday morning thoughts

Sunday morning....and again....didn't gamble last night.  It is amazing to me now how I go through an entire Sat. evening without even a thought of wanting to gamble.  Saturdays were my biggest trigger day, because I gambled every Saturday until say....4 or 5 or even 6 am sunday every week for yrs.!  I set up my business not to open until noon on sunday to accomodate this! July 1 will be my 6 mos. anniversary quitting gambling....and the 1st two or three mos....Sat. continued to be hard for me.  With time....now it isn't!  Saying that, I know that I am not "cured."  I am only one bet away from returning to the despair, self-destruction, and self-hatred I experienced when I was destroying myself with gambling.  The monster is still there...in the cage...waiting for me to get careless...waiting for me to decide it is safe to let him out to play....just quiet now, as he is not being fed..... Thinking that makes me feel a little sad....that I can't be cured....but....this is reality....the monster of addiction that nearly ate me alive.....is always there....but ODAAT.....I will not gamble....and I will survive...and even thrive!....with the help of my precious friends here. Much love to you all.......xoxo......Dianne