Sunday evening

I have had an interesting weekend. I went to an air show north of here and paid a man to give me a helicopter ride. I used to fly light planes a little. I never got my license because, boing a teacher, I ran out of money. But anything having to do with small aircraft is exciting to me. Then I went to an alpaca farm and saw the babies - so cute! I heard a widower of a lady who died in the World Trade Center attcks say "You learn to live with your grief, not in it." I guess that is what I am trying to do now. Realize these awful desolate feelings are real, but also realize they are not me. They are not the whole of me, anyway. I need to continue to push myself forward into old and new interests so that I can go on living instead of being frozen in place forever. It is still quite a push. I want to collapse and die a lot, but I am not the one to plan that event so I keep trying.
Thinking of the victims of terrorism and of military action certainly helps me feel that many have suffered and will continue to. I'm not alone in pain and many have had it so much worse. I need to try more to be useful in this world to those who suffer.
Today I went on a 16 mile bike ride - beautiful weather! Then I went and saw my in-laws. My brother in law has got a dog that continuously growls at me, so I don't know how much longer I'll go there. If he lets go of the leash.... I have always had dogs and have never been bitten, but I don't tolerate too much. My dogs are pretty friendly. My husband didn't know what to do with his family situation. He had gotten pretty disgusted. It hurts my feelings somewhat. Partly I just think they're crazy. I hang on because they are my sweetheart's family. 
Now that I've been on a helicopter ride, I may want a balloon ride. This could get expensive....
I'm grateful for...
nice dogs
my bike
helicopter ride
baby alpacas
new part time job
prayers for guidance are answered
ability to appear to remain calm
food and rest at the end of the day.



Helicopter rides and baby alpacas ---wow. Quite a variety of activities. And biking 16 miles is a good one also. My sis lives in Oregon & is an outdoor person. They are always hiking 10 mi. or biking several mi. I\'m much older with foot problems -- so afraid I can\'t do a lot of that. Edith - you are going to be fine. You have a wonderful attitude of gratitude, and there is your secret to getting through this hard journey. Hugs - Doye