Sundays
Sundays are the worst. I'm usually off work, and sometimes it takes till after lunch to even get dressed. Today I went to church. My husband and I had been thinking of changing churches, and had been visiting a couple. I've been to one a couple of times,and this was the first time back at this one.
I went because it was their 50th anniversary and they were having special music, old pastors, etc. The music happened during sunday school time, and I got their for the service, which turned out to be bible study. The preacher talked about the parting of the Red Sea, and how we all have a Red Sea at sometime in our lives. I related this so much to the lost of my husband. I cried all during the sermon. Their were a group of senior women sitting behind me,and they tapped me on my shoulder, and asked if they could pray for me. I told them my husband had passed away last year. It's so much more than that, since he committed suicide.
The last 2 Sundays my daughter spent the weekend with the grandkids. This weekend I was on my own. I called my grandaughter to see if see wanted to do something, but she had plans. I went to the casino for a couple of hours. I don't have friends to hang out with, and my sisters have their own lives to live.
My husband wanted me to himself, since I worked so much, all my time was spent with him. He was also insecure and didn't want me hanging out with friends from work. I really have no friends that I can just call and do something with. Sure people told me at the funeral, call them anytime, but I don't.
I'm going to visit my son and his family in a couple of days, so I'll be busy. But busy doesn't fill the days and nights. I know I want to get involved in church again, I just have to find the right one.
Sorry for the rambling, but it does feel better, to get it off my chest.
I went because it was their 50th anniversary and they were having special music, old pastors, etc. The music happened during sunday school time, and I got their for the service, which turned out to be bible study. The preacher talked about the parting of the Red Sea, and how we all have a Red Sea at sometime in our lives. I related this so much to the lost of my husband. I cried all during the sermon. Their were a group of senior women sitting behind me,and they tapped me on my shoulder, and asked if they could pray for me. I told them my husband had passed away last year. It's so much more than that, since he committed suicide.
The last 2 Sundays my daughter spent the weekend with the grandkids. This weekend I was on my own. I called my grandaughter to see if see wanted to do something, but she had plans. I went to the casino for a couple of hours. I don't have friends to hang out with, and my sisters have their own lives to live.
My husband wanted me to himself, since I worked so much, all my time was spent with him. He was also insecure and didn't want me hanging out with friends from work. I really have no friends that I can just call and do something with. Sure people told me at the funeral, call them anytime, but I don't.
I'm going to visit my son and his family in a couple of days, so I'll be busy. But busy doesn't fill the days and nights. I know I want to get involved in church again, I just have to find the right one.
Sorry for the rambling, but it does feel better, to get it off my chest.
Replies
In this new life, we do have to seek out new friends. I have found that some of my old friends have moved on with their busy lives and forgotten about me. It helps if you have a hobby or interest that involves others as that is a good connection for a friendship. Hopefully once you find a church with which you are comfortable, you will find some new friends there. Also, joining a gym or taking a daily walk helps. Keep yourself active because what\'s good for the body is also good for the mind. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Hugs,....Nancy
Sundays are usually long and rough for me. I think it was good that you ventured out to church and trying different ones until you find what feels comfortable a plan for Sundays. Many community churches have some social works group you could join. As far as friends go, even if you had some before your loss there\'d be the possibility you wouldn\'t feel like they were friends. It is odd how many aren\'t there for you anyway so you end up pulling away anyway. Thinking of taking an exercise class myself for winter. It is just so lonely, Rob and I did everything together also and I am not real outgoing but I finally am at the point that I know I am the one that has to make the move. Sorry it is so hard. Hug, Donna
Good for you in trying your new church, a whole new world of friends will await you. Fully agree with comments above. No surprises about finding out how few real friends from the old life who stay with us in this \"numb period\", everyone says \"call me\", but the reality is we are now in a new life and on a new journey. It\'s the toughest journey we will ever make, but we will make it. Feeling for you at this very difficult time. Hugs, John
Going to church will probably lead to you finding friends. Do you have any friends where you work? It is so hard and I hope you don\'t blame yourself for your husbands suicide. My husband also commited suicide but he was very ill. My heart goes out to you because without my friends I couldn\'t have made it this far.Hugs to you Diane