Sundays
Sundays are the worst. I'm usually off work, and sometimes it takes till after lunch to even get dressed. Today I went to church. My husband and I had been thinking of changing churches, and had been visiting a couple. I've been to one a couple of times,and this was the first time back at this one.
I went because it was their 50th anniversary and they were having special music, old pastors, etc. The music happened during sunday school time, and I got their for the service, which turned out to be bible study. The preacher talked about the parting of the Red Sea, and how we all have a Red Sea at sometime in our lives. I related this so much to the lost of my husband. I cried all during the sermon. Their were a group of senior women sitting behind me,and they tapped me on my shoulder, and asked if they could pray for me. I told them my husband had passed away last year. It's so much more than that, since he committed suicide.
The last 2 Sundays my daughter spent the weekend with the grandkids. This weekend I was on my own. I called my grandaughter to see if see wanted to do something, but she had plans. I went to the casino for a couple of hours. I don't have friends to hang out with, and my sisters have their own lives to live.
My husband wanted me to himself, since I worked so much, all my time was spent with him. He was also insecure and didn't want me hanging out with friends from work. I really have no friends that I can just call and do something with. Sure people told me at the funeral, call them anytime, but I don't.
I'm going to visit my son and his family in a couple of days, so I'll be busy. But busy doesn't fill the days and nights. I know I want to get involved in church again, I just have to find the right one.
Sorry for the rambling, but it does feel better, to get it off my chest.
I went because it was their 50th anniversary and they were having special music, old pastors, etc. The music happened during sunday school time, and I got their for the service, which turned out to be bible study. The preacher talked about the parting of the Red Sea, and how we all have a Red Sea at sometime in our lives. I related this so much to the lost of my husband. I cried all during the sermon. Their were a group of senior women sitting behind me,and they tapped me on my shoulder, and asked if they could pray for me. I told them my husband had passed away last year. It's so much more than that, since he committed suicide.
The last 2 Sundays my daughter spent the weekend with the grandkids. This weekend I was on my own. I called my grandaughter to see if see wanted to do something, but she had plans. I went to the casino for a couple of hours. I don't have friends to hang out with, and my sisters have their own lives to live.
My husband wanted me to himself, since I worked so much, all my time was spent with him. He was also insecure and didn't want me hanging out with friends from work. I really have no friends that I can just call and do something with. Sure people told me at the funeral, call them anytime, but I don't.
I'm going to visit my son and his family in a couple of days, so I'll be busy. But busy doesn't fill the days and nights. I know I want to get involved in church again, I just have to find the right one.
Sorry for the rambling, but it does feel better, to get it off my chest.
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