Suicide Attempt

I remember the first day of my partial hospitalization I felt like my problems weren't bad enough because I had yet to try and commit suicide. That Thursday I remember sitting in Music Therapy and deciding that I was going to try that night. It seemed fitting. My first plan was the commit suicide on the 2nd of may so a two week anniversary wouldn't have been bad. I took a handful of sleeping pills and spent the whole day in bed.
Suicide attempt #1: failed
Yesterday was the hardest night of my life. My parents found out that I cut and took my blades away. Last night I wanted to try again. I wanted to die so badly. I ran around the house at 1am, searching for anything sharp, any pills of any kind, but found nothing. Then I found my father's pocket knife. It had been there ever since I was a child. I had always played with its various devices when I was a little kid. I took it to my room and cut vertically on my left wrist. But the blade was so dull. I'm 15. My father has never sharpened those blades and I can't remember a time in my life when it wasn't around. I tried putting a plastic bag over my head, but that didn't work either.
Suicide attempt #2: failed
Today was my angriest, most deadly. I left the house and walked a mile so I could buy a brand new, 120 pill, 360mg bottle of melatonin and new blades. When I got home, I decided I would take 60: 40 more than what I considered safe and 20 more than my last attempt. I was in bed half an hour before I decided that wasn't enough so I took 20 more. Another half hour passed and again I took 20 more. After I had been in bed for just over an hour, I went back and took 20 more until the bottle was all gone. I tried to cut with my new blades, but didn't go deep enough. I first took the pills nine hours ago. I think it's safe to say...
suicide attempt #3: failed
This happened in four day span.
If they don't put me in he hospital, I'm jumping in front of a car on Monday.