Such a failer!

Been working my ass of for 4 days and I gain 5lbs. What the hell! I can't say I've been eating good, but it hasn't been bad either. My friend thinks it maybe be water weigth which I kind of agree. How do you get rid of water weight? It's just really fustrating because evertime I try I fail in some way and it kills me. Makes me feel like a failer. Which is pretty much what I am until prven wrong...Sigh!
I also have been cutting myself more than lately. It's kind of sad that nobody has noticed. I mean they are all swollen with marks and thinking nothing of it.....I think that causes me to want to do it more. I haven't really talked about it on here, because it's something that I use to coupe even though it can have a terrible outcome.