Substituting addictions
I have a problem sometimes using computer games to substitute for my gambling addiction. It can be the silliest game, and I will not be satisfied until I beat it. With the support of many friends and my counselor, I am allowed to play 60 minutes on weekdays and I keep a log. If I go over that time I have a consequence to hold myself accountable. I was doing pretty well overall, but recently I have been doing very poorly, and I have had some consequences to pay. I am under a lot of stress with school ending, report cards, basketball, etc. I am not making up excuses because I need to be accountable for what I did. Yesterday, I played for 152 minutes, and I am only allowed to play for 60 minutes. It scared me today when I looked back at yesterday. I knew I was going to be in trouble, but I made up my mind that I was going to relax and beat that game no matter what. It was like I was hypnotized. It was 12:00am and I let my dog out, and she must have been barking for 15 minutes before I even noticed. I am not allowing myself to play that game again ever, no matter how tempted I am. I am just scared by how quickly I can return to my addictive behavior. I actually wasted ten dollars on Facebook credits to play that game. How stupid is that? I am just relieved that it was $10, and I did not go to a casino and gamble. I hate when my addiction controls me. I have to stop that from happening.
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