stupid title

I'm having a really rough day...and it's just barely noon.  I don't know if maybe I'm a little overtired since I only took half a dose of the oxazepam and ended up being awake at 7am.  I'm feeling highly anxious, irritable, cranky, and having trouble with a lot of negative thoughts.  I got an email from my occupational therapist saying she wants to discuss our upcoming appointment and what her involvement is.  My mind is automatically going to the worst thoughts and thinking about how much a failure I am because I haven't been able to volunteer yet and I can't do things right and blah blah blah...all those thoughts that I know aren't true...but are still so hard to get outta my head.  I hope she calls soon because I just want to know what she has to say and get the call over with before I drive myself nuts. I'm suppose to do a workout sometime but I really don't want to...today is the progress check I think and I just don't want anything to do with it...I'm feeling really defiant and just fighting with myself about everything.  I want another cup of coffee but I know that won't help me any and if anything will irritate me further so I'm not going to have one.  I just feel really cranky and annoyed and b*tchy for no good reason.  I sent a message to a friend hoping she'd be a little bit of a support today but haven't heard back.  I don't like these kind of days...thankfully they don't happen as much as they used to.