Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...

Ok, gee, I just could not let it go.  I sent the email to the OW telling her what I thought.  Then some of the shit hit the fan.  Her 22 yr old daughter got involved.  She sent me a scorchingly, nasty email berating me horribly.  See below: This is her email to me: (I did not correct anything!) appon my recent discover of my mothers emails i have found a nasty and child like email you have sent her. This will only take a minute of your time so dont worry. Were in the fuck do you get off saying that MY MOTHER  is a " home wrecker" last time i seen your fat ass was sitting in your room all fucked up on your PILLS while my mother was taking care of your responsibleties. Also maybe if you would Lose some weight and FUCK YOUR " GREAT HUSBAND"  them he wouldnt of went to my mother. you must be fucked in your head to think that this all my mothers fault STAY OF THE DRUGS DUMBASS. Cause last i time i checked it takes TWO people to have SEX. that means your "GREAT HUSBAND" dick was inside my mother. Now how does that make you feel to hear it out like that sucks doesnt bitch. let me make my self very clear my mother didnt "wreck" your marriage is was already broken you fat souther cow. An you really want to know whoes fault it is that your "GREAT HUSBAND" FUCKED MY MOTHER? IT'S YOURS. Thats what your get for being a good for nothing wife, mother and a person on this earth. Did you know that your "GREAT HUSBAND" came with my mother to pick up my son? Oh also my mother doesnt need a man to define her like you do. My mother was just Fucking with your and his head. But how do u explain him telling my mother he loves her and wishes he could get rid of you and him being at her or mu grandmothers house all weekend long? Please do tell!!! Oh by the way your "great husband" wished me and my mother a "happy holidays" hahaha so now that im done go up stairs take your pills like you always do and leave my mother alone if you do not cease to do so there will be a bigger problem on your hands then just my mother fucking your "GREAT HUSBAND"                                                                                       THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME  Well that was refreshing.  Then I replied:Loved your email!  It was very entertaining.  By the way, spell check is a wonderful thing.  You should learn to use it.  Beautiful grammar too. I thought about what you have written to me.  You should know that the reason I was on the ANTIDEPRESSANTS was to help me get over the death of my grandmother, whom I was extremely close to.  Don't you feel like the ass now.  That is what you get for not knowing the real reason I was like that.  I took her death very hard.  However, I don't think you will feel the same about your grandmother when she passes as you don't even bother with her and only want money from her.  What, did you think I didn't know the things your mother said about you and how you treated her and your grandmother.  Dear, I was there to console her when you pitched all of your little tantrums and cussed her out.  But that is neither here nor there.It does take two to have sex.  I, however, had a very good reason behind not wanting too.  It was hormonal...that has changed now.  Absolutely, fucking great sex now and never a dull or limp moment unlike what he had with your mother.  As to why your mother spread her legs for a married man, I will never know.  it probably wasn't the first time either.  That is what made her the home-wrecker.  Also, you should know that I do know everything.  I knew that my husband went with your mother to get your son on several occasions.  The last time, your grandmother got sick and was unable to go, so your mother asked him to go with her to share the driving because your sorry ass would not meet her halfway.  OHHHH, didn't think I knew that he did that.  There are a lot of things that I know.  Shame you don't.  I also know that your mother wished she could get your children away from you and your husband because they stunk so bad from the cigarette smoke.  She was very concerned about their health.  But that also, didn't stop her from starting to smoke again.Yes, our marriage was broken and things were not great, but your mother CHOSE to FUCK my husband.  I did not make that decision for EITHER of them.  They both chose that path not me.  I did not MAKE him by not fucking him.  So, don't you dare put that shit on me.  Did you know that your mother was so depressed because she could not get a man to love her.  She couldn't even get you to love her.  So, dear, do not bother to bring yourself into this mess.  You did not create it...they did!!!!  By the way, do you even have written proof that he wished you happy holidays?  I doubt it.By the way, do not ever threaten me again.Next email from her was nicer:Let me first start off with i am sorry to hear about your grandmother. An just to let you know i do care about my grandmother very much i call and call her but she never picks up. An it was true about 5 years ago i wasnt the nicest person. I can own that as well. But you have to understand that I do know everything and I know what my mother did was wrong and hurt you, him ,your kids (if they know about it)but she was also hurt. I dont expect you to understand mine and my mothers relationship she tells me all the time ( to my face) that she worried about my childrens health but i am there mother and my husband is there father. So she cant say a thing about what i do or dont do right. An your right this isnt my fight but thats my mom i love my mom. How would you like it if someone said these awful things about your grnadmother or your mother. You would want to stick up for them right no matter what because thats what family does for each other. My mother has had my back for everthing so i willl have her back for everything. Do you understand? I dont really care about your marriage or the affair they had. All i care about is my mom and her happiness. Thats the least i can do since shes done a shit load for me. Im not a bad person but i dont care if you think i am or not. let me finish with this. It is 2010 now cant we all stop with the hate emails and leave each other alone and go on with our own lives and fix the problems we all have instead of creating more for each other. Please leave my mom alone shes a good person and a wonderful mom and grandma why dont you be the same.                                                                                       P.S. i wasnt threatening you i was just say that its getting out of control and it is becomming harrassment so lets start 2010 on a good note for everyoneTo which I replied:This year will be a new start for all of us.  Unfortunately, you and I were caught in something we had no control over.  I know that my husband is not innocent in this by no means neither was your mother.  His actions were selfish in the extreme.However, I did need to find closure and I hope you can understand that.  This is the closure that I need as I had not confronted your mother on her part of this.  There will be no futher emails.I hate that your mother and my husband did what they did.  I thought of your mother as my best friend.  Can you see now why this hurt me so badly?I had to have closure to both relationships - including the one with your mother.  I am moving on.  We are rebuilding our marriage from the ground up.  I sincerely hope that you never have to feel the pain of the betrayal that I have gone through.  As for your grandmother, I still hold a love for her and probably always will.  She is a great lady and reminded me much of my own.   Her mother (the OW) also put her 2 cents in during these exchanges:All I can tell you is that you started this with your nasty email to me.  If your marriage and life is great, I am happy for you and you should leave me alone and move on with your life because you will never find happiness until you do.  If not, then I guess these emails will continue and possibly get worse which will not solve anything.  Such as, when you were in the hospital fighting for your life your husband texted me telling me how nice it was that you were gone and it was just him and the kids. That is the type of man you are married to and you honestly think I am the bad one!  My biggest problem with this, is that you honestly think it was me trying to break up your marriage when it was him coming to me saying he wanted a divorce and be with me!  How desperate you must be to believe that he is innocent and that it was me trying to end your marriage. By the way, Stephanie's email did not threathen you in anyway.  She is too old for me to tell her what to do but i will ask her to stop the emails if you stop the emails to me and move on.To which I also replied:I needed to confront you with your part of the affair.  I do not by any means hold him innocent in this.  Neither are you.This will be my last email to you.  I do hope that you have a better life.  I know I will.  I thank you for showing me that I can't even trust my best friend.  I thank him for showing me that I can't trust him either.  Do you honestly think that I haven't said just as bad to him.  Do you think that I am that stupid to just believe he had no part in this?  Gee, I thought you knew better.No, he is not innocent in this.  I, however, did not expect the email from your daughter.  My email was meant only for you and was the only confrontation you will receive from me.  I do not wish to ever see you or continue this.  I am not stupid.  Yes, he has told me all that he said to you.  The events, the texts, the clandestine liasons you had out of town, the on the way home from work trip to fuck in his car, his feelings he had for you, the divorce and his feelings for it....everything!!!As for your daughter, we have said our peace and are done.  I think we have an understanding.  She will receive no further emails from me either.  Shame she didn't know the reason I was on antidepressants but I guess you did not see fit to give her the whole picture.  Such a shame!  Such a shame for this whole fucking mess!!!!END OF EMAILS!!I know I should not have sent the email in the first place but it was killing me to know that she was getting off completely scott free.  I had to do something to move forward.  I needed closure to that relationship with her.  I needed to tell her how I felt about her part in this.  This was so stupid in some respects but I also felt that something wasn't quite right ...that he was not telling me all I needed to know.  Well, I know now.  He came clean.  He told me about the several overnight trips they made.  I had already asked him 2 months ago and he lied about them.  I also asked him about some other things that might have happened.  He had lied about that also.  I feel that I now have the truth from him (at least all that I may want to know for now).  I had been holding onto the "truth" that he had told me that she had not went with him when he went out of town.  That was a major lie to me.  It broke my heart again to know that he was still lying to me.I don't know what to do.  I am at a point of WTF!!!  Do I move on or just call it quits?  How many more lies might be out there?  What is going to happen if we have a rough patch again?  Is he going to cheat?  Will I know this time?  He tells me that he knows that if it happens again, I am gone, but damn, he told me he wanted a divorce this time.  He had asked for it.  He wanted it but then didn't...WTH!!  I wish I could shift gears that fast.  I am reeling at this and I don't know how to stop.I did check phone records about the texting.  He did not text or call her about wishing them happy holidays - LIE!  There were other lies she told.  The lies about him texting her while I was in the hospital in September - LIE.  She lied to me so convincingly for over 2 years.  She had me so sure that she was my friend as she screwed my H.  She told me so many times that my H was a jerk, bastard, whatever - that I was crazy to still be married to him.  That I should not put up with that from him.  All the time, it was her lying to me about it so that she could hide what she was doing.  She started working on belittling out marriage just after she moved next door 3 years ago.  I should have seen it but didn't.What the hell was I thinking?