studying

I have this stupid anatomy practical tomorrow and this class just seems to be such a complete struggle for me. Well, basically everything a struggle. Coping seems to be a day by thing. i have to remember that undergrad is almost over and that i made it this far even after taking a leave of absence last spring after coming out of a severe depression and entering a out of control stage of mania. Right now i feel like giving up again and saying fuck school just stay in bed but its the last week of classes so what would be the sense. i really should be studying right now but i cant focus on anything so im sitting here rambling and listening to Lana Del Rey, i even cleaned up the icons on my desktop i guess anything to avoid studying for this. Twenty million things on my mind right now I am not even sure how they all fit in there especially since one thing doesnt seem to stay in my thought process for very long, one thing right to the next. i feel like i wanna clean or something and i know I am prob not sleeping tonight again. mania coming on? possibly i haven't had any significant episodes in a while but this deffinetly feels like one. i guess the stress finally did me in. wish i could shut it off because even though it feels good to be like this initially the consequences are always really bad for me. this was seriously a complete ramble and im not even sure what ive been talking about this whole time. i really should be studying. GOING TO FAIL!!!!