Studio C, Grandmas, and AS.
I've been watching a lot of Studio C lately. I LOVE Studio C! Then, when Studio C sent out a new video on YouTube, I commented pointing out an easter egg they added in. STUDIO C REPLIED TO MY COMMENT! They said "Nice catch!" They also hearted one of my earlier comments and made their own pinned comment for everyone to reply to based off of MY COMMENT!
If possible, please try tuning in to Studio C's new episode on Monday. (Not trying to promote anything, just trying to share my "obsession".
I don't really know why I started writing. Maybe I just need to make sense of what I am feeling right now. I don't know.
My grandma emailed me after I told her I'm too afraid to go to Girl's Camp. I was finallys able to figure out what to reply to her today. I explained about my Social Anxiety and Trichotillomania and made sure to tell her I was following her advice. I don't really want to tell her about having Asperger's Syndrome because I don't know how she'll react.
I don't know how, but my mom interprets a lot of things I do differently. She turned on a video about fear and I left to go upstairs because I needed to do something and she thought I left because of the video. She thinks me rocking makes me look crazy. She thinks I get embarresed when she does things like sing at the top of her lungs in the car so she tells everyone that even though I don't get embarresed about it. Why would I? She's being herself. It's not affecting me. I actually enjoy watching her have fun.
I watch so many youtubers who are autistic and they explain things so well that I think I can talk to my parents the way they spoke. First of all, a video is a one-sided conversation. Then, my parents hear something and twist it or argue against it and it makes me at a complete lost for words or I accidentally say something rude and they storm off without letting us finish the conversation. I can't speak to them because that has happened so many times that they have told me to stop talking to them about Autism.
My other grandma wrote in a letter to talk to the leaders at my church. It's a lot more easier to say it than to act upon it. I am socially awkward. Someone asked me last week how old I was and it literally took me thirty seconds to even say something. Besides, I already told one person, and they did nothing. Even after they told me all the things they did for someone else they knew with Asperger's.
I remember one time when we were in Utah visiting family. I asked my mom "Why am I so confused all the time?" The best description I could come up with how it feels is it's like having a headache but your head doesn't hurt. It might not even be that accurate of an explanation.
I like to find other people who have Asperger's since I don't know anyone personally. By doing that, my family keeps saying I'm "diagnosing everyone." I'm just trying to find successful Aspies that I can look up to and point out to my family. Like Elon Musk being diagnosed with AS. Look at how successful he is.
Mark Rober is a youtuber who makes fun science and engineering videoes. He also has an autistic son. I also keep seeing how he doesn't look people in the eyes. Plus, he didn't speak until he was about 3 or 4 years old. That is a lot of evidence that he might have it but no one else seems to notice it.
Thank you for reading my word splash. It probably didn't make any sense but I tried.
Happy Autism Acceptance Month!
ChristianWhovian
Replies
I'd be happy to check out Studio C on Monday. I've found a lot of their sketches to be really funny, especially the older ones. It's super cool that they replied to your comment!
Almost every teen goes through what you're experiencing with your parents, whether they are on the spectrum or not. In fact, my niece (she's 14 and not on the spectrum) was talking with me the other day about her parents doing the same thing (i.e. twisting and misunderstanding what she says). You might consider writing your parents and other family members a letter that expresses everything you would like to share about how you are feeling, in order to avoid any potential conflict.
I'd also encourage you to keep reaching out to the leaders at your church, in spite of the disappointing experience that you had. Since you feel socially awkward and sometimes have difficulty communicating your thoughts orally, perhaps consider writing them a letter too. Maybe you could mail it to the church office, if you would prefer not to hand it directly to them.
Have you ever checked out the Asperger's and Autism Forum located at https://www.autismforums.com/? It seems moderately active, and you might meet other teens/young adults who are going through the same thing...or perhaps even adults who can provide you with additional knowledge and guidance. One of my friends with ASD might also be willing to communicate with you, but I would have to check with her first (let me know if you're interested in connecting with her). She's not too much older than you are (early 20s), and you share the same religion.
Thanks for introducing me to the phrase "word splash." Would you believe I'd never heard of it? What you say in this journal totally makes sense. I just wish I could help you in some way! I will say a prayer that you find someone to reach out to in your area who will listen.
Hope you have a blessed Easter! Hugs, Judy
I would be happy to talk with her!
Would you believe I accidentally made "word splash" up? :)
Happy Easter!
LOL...I like it! : )
My friend would be happy to connect with you. She's a member on here too, and she will be sending you a friend request.