Struggling with this "jiggly" feeling

I'm feeling so fat and out of shape lately and I can't seem to shake it.  My old methods do not work anymore  and it just dawned on me that I am approaching a milestone in age next year and the body has begun to change.
Ask. Believe. Receive.
I am asking the universe for a miracle, namely children and the money to pay for them.  Where a lot of people get caught up on in the "Believe" part.  I think that's the biggest issue for people.  I have had struggles with my faith and believing what I know God has put in my heart.  What I guess He wants me to do is earn it.  My self-esteem is pretty low.  How am I going to raise a child to believe in themselves when their mother doesn' t even believe in herself?
I have to work more on me before I can work on them.
I lost a customer today, but I took it pretty well.  She was problematic and I guess I just could not replicate a cooking style that she wanted.  Everything had to be bland and super boring.