Struggling With The Frustrations....
Today, from the moment I woke up to now, I've been struggling with the frustrations and anger of what I've done! Living now with an "ex-fiance" and demoting ourselves to being like generic room mates has been hard. Just like today, I wake up, exit my room, walk down the hallway, round the corner into the living room and I see her, sitting a bit somber, a bit sad and trying her best to keep focused on her laptop computer as to not show any possible emotions.
I stood there for a couple seconds and thought, damn, I'm a fricking piece of work. Also thinking to myself that for the most part......"you made this happen"! Just pisses me off when I see the wake of my own destruction. It's that mirror of reality that gets thrusted into my face, that reminds me, ((Hey Aaron.....Nice job.......You sure have a way with the women.....any more lives you want to affect"?)) Plus I really don't blame her, but she just sits around now, even as a generic room mate, she doesn't want to lift a finger as towards doing anything around here.
Almost at the point that she advised that we were over and that she'd be going back home to her parents, it's as if she's "mentally checked out"! loading and unloading the dish washer, now 100% my job, getting the dirty laundry cleaned and folded and put away, now, 100% my job, tending daily to the cat's litter box, now, 100% my job, picking up around the house, now, 100% my job and she's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to contribute towards paying any of the bills for the remainder of her time here. She's timing it just right, because the first household bill won't hit the mail box until a couple days after she's gone. She has advised that she is rather going to keep her money and return with it back to where she's going.
So not only dealing with the frustrations of dealing with my own problem of "dishonesty", I now have take on the burden of keeping my home afloat, not only by means of jobs to do around the house, but now being 100% responsible with paying for everything around here. Plus, when she's on her computer, she's got it plugged into the surround sound system in the living room, she's sure going out of her way to log into You Tube and play songs about people breaking peoples hearts, and playing songs with messages of "how dare you" and playing some break up songs. I know I brought this on myself, but damn, crucify me through music why don't you!
Just pissed off and don't quite know what to do about it!
I stood there for a couple seconds and thought, damn, I'm a fricking piece of work. Also thinking to myself that for the most part......"you made this happen"! Just pisses me off when I see the wake of my own destruction. It's that mirror of reality that gets thrusted into my face, that reminds me, ((Hey Aaron.....Nice job.......You sure have a way with the women.....any more lives you want to affect"?)) Plus I really don't blame her, but she just sits around now, even as a generic room mate, she doesn't want to lift a finger as towards doing anything around here.
Almost at the point that she advised that we were over and that she'd be going back home to her parents, it's as if she's "mentally checked out"! loading and unloading the dish washer, now 100% my job, getting the dirty laundry cleaned and folded and put away, now, 100% my job, tending daily to the cat's litter box, now, 100% my job, picking up around the house, now, 100% my job and she's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to contribute towards paying any of the bills for the remainder of her time here. She's timing it just right, because the first household bill won't hit the mail box until a couple days after she's gone. She has advised that she is rather going to keep her money and return with it back to where she's going.
So not only dealing with the frustrations of dealing with my own problem of "dishonesty", I now have take on the burden of keeping my home afloat, not only by means of jobs to do around the house, but now being 100% responsible with paying for everything around here. Plus, when she's on her computer, she's got it plugged into the surround sound system in the living room, she's sure going out of her way to log into You Tube and play songs about people breaking peoples hearts, and playing songs with messages of "how dare you" and playing some break up songs. I know I brought this on myself, but damn, crucify me through music why don't you!
Just pissed off and don't quite know what to do about it!
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