struggling today

its been a couple weeks of good days and only minor struggles.
today however, im struggling mightilky. I havent talked to her on phone for 2 days and
only one text yesterday and non today.... I dont know if shes blowing me off for
stuff down there or if im testing myself.. i cant figure it out.
In reality I know that she understands what i go thru when i dont hear from her.
She has to know im suffering. She has in the past if our communication has been sparse
sent me a note jsut to say remember I love you. AM i fishing for something like
that again by not communicating with her or am i afraid of more non committal
bland communication from her....? I dont know , Im paraying alot fpr God to either give
me strength to get thru this or for her to realize whats going on and reach out to me.
I dont know what to do so my gut tells me dont do anything... I know God has this in his
hands im just feeling so anxious and upset about it.... im trying to be patient and not
break down and call or text but i dont really know if thats the right thing to do or not.
I am starting to resent her for this....that scares me too.   God I need some help
here.... shes coming home tomorrow and i have some suprises planned for her
so im hoping it will be good but the way i feel right now im not sure its
going to go well..... GOD I need your help with this to either settle me down
or snap her into paying attention..... im even afraid thats wrong to pray for too
im very confused at the moment.