Struggling to cope!!
I am really falling apart today. Well, since yesterday. My daughter was found in her car from an overdose. She says that this was her first relapse, but I don't know what to believe anymore. Luckily, this time at least, someone saw her, and called the police. They revived her with Narcan, and she doesn't remember any of it. Child services showed up at her door to remove my grandson from the home. Since I live in Tennessee, and they live in Ohio, I cannot bring him home with me. They say he can't leave the state. My mother, thank God, went to pick him up, instead of him going to someone he doesn't know. This hurts my heart so much, I can barely breathe. I am relieved that I know my grandson is safe, but the thought of losing my daughter from the same thing that I lost my son from is shooting my emotions through the roof. I was looking for a meeting somewhere, because I am trying to be strong, and don't know if I can do this by myself, but no meetings around here until Thursday. I figured I would get on here and vent to someone else besides my family. The stigma around addiction is so mixed, I can't argue about it anymore. Nobody really understands it until it happens to them.
Replies
Oh my friend, I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m relieved your daughter is ok and your precious grandson is being cared for by your mom but I can imagine you’re frantic!
Are you trying to go to an Al-Anon meeting? Or a Narc-Anon meeting? It’s been tough in my area (Massachusetts) to get to a meeting because all is shut down due to Covid - 19 and the location of the meetings being in a hospital. Maybe you could access something by Zoom? Just a thought as I’ve attended some meetings via Zoom since this awful pandemic occurred. Sending you love, hugs and prayers for your family. Stay strong & take care of yourself through all of this. Hugs, Linda
OH NO! OH sweet lady, I am so very sorry. I understand the fears, and the frustrations you must be feeling. I've lived that myself with my son. Having a grandson in the middle of it all, well, that's of course adding to your heartache even more. I certainly understand you feeling like you're "falling apart". How could you feel any other way?
SO thankful your daughter was found in time and the Narcan worked! I pray, pray, pray for her to get the help she truly needs and for this to be the time, the REAL time, of her healing. I know so well the stigma's and total lack of compassion surrounding addiction. I used to be in that category of people without LOVE for addicts. Until the addict became my own son and I had to get a HARD education. As I'm typing my response, I see I have 17 notifications here on DS...that's Kala's way of saying she is present....and I believe since I'm seeing it NOW, it means she too is praying and is being present with you in this situation, and I know that means she's with your son and together they are doing all in their power from that side to influence the success of your daughter. Thank you Kala. Thank you Billy.
SO thankful your mother was able to go pick up your grandson and keep him! It's a shame that in these situations children couldn't be allowed to go to family even it if meant leaving the state. It's not like nobody would know where he was living if he was with you! And with the virus situation, it's not like he'd be missing school right now....and even if he were, it seems the priority would be to have him with his closest relative regardless of location....staying in the US of course. I just don't get some of the laws of our land.
I am thankful you thought to come here and to pour out your heart, and I hope you felt a tiny bit of release by doing so. I know I always feel better when I can get it all out. Keeping everything inside is far worse for me; far more destructive. I so wish I could sit beside you right now just to hold your hand and cry....or scream....or whatever you need. I am holding you with my whole heart right now, and will continue to hold your heart in mine as I pray and believe for your daughters miracle healing and the healing of your entire family.
I think Linda had a great idea about looking for a zoom meeting or something similar. I hope you're able to find something. But if not, and if you want, you can call me any time and I'll listen. Again, I've walked in very similar shoes.....I know the ache they cause.
I love you and I'm here for you, as we all are.
(((hugs)))
Teri
Thank you for your support. I really needed it. I was looking for a Nar-Anon meeting because I used to go when I lived in Florida, and it helped me so much. They do have virtual meetings. I just think I needed that in person experience. Yes COVID does really suck. There is an in person meeting on Thursday, but now I'm in Ohio to meet with my daughter and the support team she is working with to get her on her feet. Don't know if I will make it back home by then. But definitely gonna check if there is a meeting here in the meantime. Will update later. Thanks again.
I again want to apologize for my mixing up you and another mom. I've gone back and read/reread your earlier posts. Do you still have your sweet fur baby with you? I know my little guy, Maui, is a huge help to me when my heart gets overwhelmed.
Love and hugs,
Teri
Yes, I still have her. She truly has been my emotional support. She goes everywhere with me. Thanks for asking.
I hope you find a Nar-Anon meeting you can attend. I miss my in person al-anon meetings. They are invaluable. Take care of you my friend. I know worry and stress can wreak havoc on us. xoxo
I hope you find a Nar-Anon meeting you can attend. I miss my in person al-anon meetings. They are invaluable. Take care of you my friend. I know worry and stress can wreak havoc on us. xoxo
I hope you find a meeting that you can attend. Here for you anytime you need me. Xoxo
Sending prayers and love plus strength.