Struggling

I haven’t been on for a while as just rolling along but suddenly I got itching skin and noticed skin and urine darker . My stomach was feeling better after the treatment for ulcerative colitis. They wanted a liver biopsy and discovered I now have yet another autoimmune disease PBC my mother has this one also . My Pah is very bad currently . Slipped in bath and the tendon has over extended in my foot so swollen and can’t bare weight. I’m now down to 6 stones 10 and don’t recognise myself . I’m trying to battle my depression and anxiety. I thought I had it under control silly me . I feel so sad when I hear my friends have died through this disease . I guess my mask drops and I cry so easily now. It’s now become a case of wondering if I’ll wake up in the morning. I learn something new each day apart from the Mctd attacking my lungs and heart I didn’t realise you also usually get sjogrens , raynauds, pbc and thyroid autoimmune diseases also . I currently have 3/4 of these . My blood pressure is so low now at 70/60 I feel quite numb in my mind at times . Think I’ll go rest as my mood is just too negative. I need to go meditate