Struggling
I need to vent and I'm sorry this seems so petty.
I'm torn, torn in shutting Brandon's facebook down.
The stepmonster has gone so far overboard that I don't know what to do.
She's portraying herself as his grieving mother.
She's joining groups that I have joined (in the town I live in mind you)
she even went so far as to 'friend' my oldest son on facebook. she has zero connection to him. ZERO
I'm far beyond trying to rationalize this in my brain, she has gone too far.
Brandon told me she treated him like the bastard step-child. I believe him.
now she's a grieving mother? she's portraying to be HIS grieving mother.
thank god she cannot have my name removed from his birth certificate, or his death certificate.
It has gone so far over the limits a 'step-parent' should even be allowed it isn't funny.
I'm afraid of what I might do to her if I ever run into her............ seriously.
this is MY son, back the F*ck up.
I am ANGRY, no I'm beyond angry......
you know that cry that happens when you're pissed off? I'm even beyond that.
Replies
I’m so sorry. Is there any way that you can block her from his Facebook, assuming you have control of it?
It never ceases to amaze me what people’s audacity causes them to do.. never.
Soon, she will find someone else’s misery to latch on to, and you will be free of her...❤️
Sorry to say, she had it memorialized...nothing I can do now but remove it. Forever
After she hacked it and added herself
Makes me so angry!! How dare she do all of this....I'm so sorry!! She has major issues and unfortunately you are the one who gets hurt....ugh
People never cease to amaze me....
Facebook is a curse with everyone on it. I understand how angry you are over this. Can the administrators do anything? I have not tried with my girls page. I am amazed how people who didn't really see her in the last year of her life can write such tributes. It is so frustrating.
Sending you some peace today. Hugs, Kathy
Girl, I know just how you feel!!!! Been there myself. And not only with Kala's father....who hadn't seen or spoken a word to her in almost 2 years (his last words being "fuck her" while she was in therapy....right in front of the therapist!) and step-mom (crazy ass bitch), but also a friend...and I use that word lightly.
Kala's dad and stepmom when to the little BBQ restaurant where Kala worked with a plaque for them to put up on the wall. A tribute to their relationship....yada, yada, yada. They were all over FB "crying" and painting the perfect picture. HA! Idiot assholes both of them! Their FIRST action was to sue me for $300,000.00! Yep....assholes!
Then this "friend".....OMG. She was a total nut job. Of course I didn't realize this at first. She was the mother of a boy Kala had a huge crush on. They became friends and attended football games...her son played. Anyway, she and Kala did get close....because of the boy. The relationship didn't work out, but all remained friends. They were on vacation when the accident happened and left their vacay and drove straight to my house. I'd never met the lady, but I was 2 days into this nightmare and not sure what planet I was on, so I welcomed her with open arms and cloudy mind. She and I became quick friends. I know now it's because we each had info the other didn't....memories, and what not...about Kala. I wanted to know everything she knew, and she apparently wanted to know everything I knew about Kala. Well....SHE nearly had a nervous breakdown due to HER grief over MY child! She even tried to convince her son he was having a nervous breakdown and took him to the same facility that Kala had been in a few years prior! She tried to force them to take her son into the program. They said he didn't need it...that's when she said she was going to go crazy if she didn't get help herself....well, yeah, she needed help alright, but not for grief, for crazy bitch syndrome! There is MUCH more I could share, but won't, as I'm sure you get the picture.
Dad, stepmom, and crazy lady......all over town....all over FB....all professing their great love and deep grief for Kala! BULL!
Whew, girl I need to take a breath, LOL! Truly, I was SOOOOO mad at the time, and for a long time afterward. But now, it really doesn't matter what they did back then, cause they all gave up the pretense and moved on with their lives. And it doesn't bother me, I only share to show how I've been there and so I can understand what you're going through.
I guess, bottom line, I'm saying it will all pass over one day and you'll be removed from it and heal from it. Best to separate yourself from it as much as possible and it that means closing his FB page then so be it....I closed Kala's MySpace (don't think FB was a thing yet) for the same reasons. It was hard because so many of her friends would post sweet messages. But for me, the sweetness was always overshadowed by the anger I'd feel when one of the three mentioned above would get on there and post.
Deep breath in, deep exhale out....We can't change or control other people; but we can change and control how we react and what we decide to do moving forward. Take care of YOU!
(((hugs)))
Teri
I have no words of wisdom. I get the anger and it is not petty. Some people just don't get it and I have no idea how to smarten them up. There is no rationalizing such behaviour. Love and tight hugs, Marlene
I totally understand your outrage at his stepmother . She sounds like a total nut job!! I agree with Teri, that she will give up the pretense and go about her life. The saying comes to mind...."you can't fix stupid"....
(((((HUGS))))), Julia
Oh ladies, you are truly my saviorrs. Teri, that is exactly what im going through. Makes me sick. I pray to god that she never comes near me. Fake ass bitch. I havent shut down his Facebook, i will know if/when that time comes. They werent even friends on his facebook until they hacked it. Then had it memorialized after i gained control of it. Oh we love you "son" blah blah blah it eats at my core. Ill be glad when it no longer does. Good lord help me get through this ripple in time. Amen. Thank you sisters. I love you! <3
And then, as I was bitching....alone in my car.....Kala says, "Mom, let go of the hate, LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS".
It was truly a pivotal moment and one I'll never forget. I had to release myself from the anger and hatred and focus on the LOVE of my child, my family, my friends, and my SOTH. The more I released, the more love filtered in and filled up those spaces. "They" are no longer of any consequence to my life and I am no longer controlled by my anger. Well, not where they are concerned, LOL...I'm still working on the completion of my earth project, which is to learn to not react with anger when earth idiots do and say stupid and hurtful things.
You WILL wake up one day and find what they did no longer holds you hostage to the pain and anger.
Love ya girlie!
Of course, this is ALL about her and HER need to portray herself as something she IS not. I am imagining the hurt and outrage you are feeling and believe it or not that is exactly what she wants. To create angst and to create a reaction. Feel IT all, and then for your own well-being try to release what you can when you can. Your darling and AMAZING son knows your heart, your truth and this IS ALL ABOUT that crazy woman! Deepest of sighs...
I don't know how I missed this journal, yet I did, so am just reading it for the first time today almost a month after you first wrote it. How are you feeling today? Are you able to SEE this for what it is and know that everyone else does too? I am so hoping that you can and beyond sorry for the energy this woman has put into being hurtful rather than loving and kind. I do love that bumper sticker that says, "Mean People Suck!"
Loving care to Brandon's forever MOM!
XO Joanie
oh my, I really need to get on this more............. is there an app? I must find the app.......... or at the very least bookmark it on my cell. Love you ladies........... can be so real, and you all just 'get it'..........