struggles struggles
Binge. Such an ugly word. An even uglier act. I wish I could understand, pin point the trigger. I binged today. I went to take Donald to pick up his newly adopted dog from the shelter and as a thanks, he baked me cookies. I wasn't really hungry, slightly I guess. I ate oh, I don't know, maybe 8, then went to Taco Bell and had a gordita and super quesadilla. THEY WEREN'T EVEN GOOD! *sigh* I don't know how to keep the momentum going. Sometimes I go flawless for weeks, sometimes I can't even manage a day. Luckily I didn't go with the "well, I ruined the day so why not have ____" I stopped. I will not dwell on it. I will forgive myself. I would love to learn from it, but I don't know what triggered it, other than them being in the car? .....I've been slacking in all areas of my life. Haven't been doing laundry, no cleaning, been too lazy to take the dogs to the park (although I did today!), haven't gone up the the college to get things in order.... ack.... tomorrow! I say, tomorrow doesn't seem to come... I'm going to make goals for tomorrow.... right now 1) clean living room 2)laundry 3) go to gym 4) eat less than 1800
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I\'ve definitly been there before. In fact I\'m pretty sure the past few years of my life (including today) has been in that place. I never know the triggers for my binges either. I\'ve been to a therapist and she has told me common reasons why other people binge but I\'ve found no consistent thread in my binging. At this point I\'m trying to look at it like any other addiction. Binges trigger the same receptors in the brains that drugs like herion do. So the binges give us highs. I recently spent time interning at a drug rehab facility and one of the things the counselors said that stuck with me is \"relapse is the road to recovery\". Basically everyone is human and you are going to fall down a few times climbing up your hills.
Stay strong and be so proud of yourself for the days that you do succeed because it is NO easy task!