string of explatives here

The only Brightside I can see is it wasn't a full blown seizure but its depressing non the less. I had a bout of what ive been told is called "seizure like activity". I knew what was going on around me, could hear things at a distance, but I still hit the ground, I still dropped what I was holding, and I still couldn't control my body for almost a full five minuets. It suck so bad ive just wanted to do nothing but cry since it happened. I think I would rather just have a full blown seizure, atleast then I don't remember the fear and horror of having no control over myself, and don't have the memory of being completely powerless over my own body. So once again we restart the clock, because at the root of it I have to be clear of any and all activity for 6 long stinking months. My hat is absolutely off to everyone who has had to deal with this for years because ive only been at it a few months and I am absolutely losing what little sanity I have over it!!!