stressing struggling

i have a yoga class that i teach.  i'm really proud of it.  i do get nervous before each class.  some days are better than others.  my practice is good but sometimes i mess up on my directions.  not a lot.  today i had a new guest that i do not care for.  i know that is bad considering yoga is suppose to teach you to let go of that kind of stuff.  she, the guest, knows i don't care for her b/c i don't think she is a geniune person.  she's rude.  i can't believe she came to my class.  i'm not the only yoga class there. 
i'm really disappointed about this because i know it isn't right for me to be this way.  i know these feelings has a lot to do with my situation - the abuse.  it's a trigger.  i'm thinking i feel disrespected by her b/c she knows we don't care for each other so why would she come to my class?
i was thinking last night about what the abuse has done to my life.  to use a loose term, i do feel "crazy."  i think it's the anxiety.  i think it's me struggling with the abused child within me.  it's really hard b/c the anger is not really me.
i'm really trying to figure out what i need to do.  i think i should go to her, the new guest, and ask her how did she feel about my class.  that might break the ice.  after the class i spoke to everyone accept for her.  she really did not stay long after the class.  she also came in the class late.  she let the door slam close twice in the middle of the begiining of my class - breathing and centering.
i feel like child.  i am feeling a lot better now that i am here writing this.  i'm hoping someone will read this and send me there thoughts.
i think i still have a therapist.  i had an appointment with him last month.  i showed up but he wasn't there.  i think it was labor day week and probably took off.  he set the appointment.  he hasn't call me back since.  i haven't called his office.  i'm thinking i now have the tools and a support group to make it without a therapist. 
this therapist is new.  they had cut backs and laid off my original therapist.  i am getting some financial assistance from the state for this therapy.  i'm thinking that might be a reason why i may not be on the top of his list.  i'm not sure.  i like him.  he got me to write a letter to my abuser - my uncle.  it was good.  i think i'm going to call him and see what's up.
this weekend i subbed three yoga classes and it was great.  today was great but i let something distract me.  that's funny.  the entire time i'm telling my class to "let go of any distractions."  another thing, i need to hear people tell me i'm doing a good job.  that's not good.
i'm a little proud of myself, i didn't cry to my mother or my family about it.  i did call them.  i just talked and looked for something funny from them to lift my spirits.  it worked.  my uncle is very silly.  even my mother made me laugh.  we always get off the phone telling each other how much we love each other.  i'm very lucky.