Stressed Out

Whew!  My day started with a blowout at high speed on the freeway coming to work.....then I was late, then my assistant called in....so understaffed.....then had a massive run-in with a "problem" person who is always trying to con us out of free services and products.  If she doesn't get what she wants, she throws a scene.  She was back today, trying more of the same, and I stood up to her and did not cave in.  I'm not going to work with her anymore!  The last time she was in, she screamed at my assistant and told her she should be fired when my assistant refused her demand for freebies....I heard from the business next to me she does the same with them! The important part I've realized, is that it didn't make me want to go gamble.  I'm tired, wrung out from the stress and overload of the day...but gambling would make all this much worse.  I am thankful to know that, and be blessed that I'm not feeling any urges right now. When I was gambling, a day like today would have been an excuse to run myself right to a casino! I  also received a package sent by my sister, daughter of my bio-mom who passed away in July.  She enclosed a charm bracelet my bio-mom had worn for years, with charms like faces with her daughter's names and birthdates.  Included on the bracelet was a charm for me, my birthdate, and the name she had given me at birth.  It really hit me that she had done this, as I always imagined she didn't care about me, having given me up for adoption.  Seeing myself on the bracelet brought  tears to my eyes, and I've been a bit emotional ever since.  Although I consider the Mom who adopted me my "real Mom", and love her very much, I still feel sadness at the loss of the family of my birth.  I missed growing up with brothers and sisters, missed the connection of having a big family.  Seeing the charm on the bracelet made me think my bio-mom still considered me part of her family, and still felt connected to me.  I don't know why this makes me want to cry, but it does.... OK, then, I guess I have vented and gotten weepy enough for one day!  I am blessed with much, and I am not going to let the tire incident or the long hard day or the difficult person incident....or even my emotions over the bio-mom issue bring me down.  I am OK.  Underneath it all, there is peace and the strength to carry on....and I can tap into this, and let all the rest flow away.   ....and I don't need to gamble to escape anything...... Love and Hugs, Dianne