stress and frustration.
Right now I'm at the edge of hating my husband and hating my body. I hate myself. I hate this body and I hate the handicaps and limits. I hate that my husband doesn't want to know or understand. I hate the fact that the more mad and upset and stressed I get the worse I get hit. It's almost instantaneous. We are fighting and 20 minutes later I feel the pain twisting and rising in my back. Spreading to my hip. I feel my the heat rising to my face and emminating off my skin.
I hate that I was an idiot 13 years ago. I hate that I married soo young and cornered myself into a life I didn't want. I hate that I have no one I can speak to because of course they are all "OUR" friends. They don't know about my FM. Don't want people to see you as weak and sick. Don't want people to know our personal buisness.
Can't talk to your friends, can't go to your siblings, can't go to your mom hell must be a lot like what I'm in now.
I hate that I was an idiot 13 years ago. I hate that I married soo young and cornered myself into a life I didn't want. I hate that I have no one I can speak to because of course they are all "OUR" friends. They don't know about my FM. Don't want people to see you as weak and sick. Don't want people to know our personal buisness.
Can't talk to your friends, can't go to your siblings, can't go to your mom hell must be a lot like what I'm in now.
Replies
Vent away.
That whole da*n \"no one can see you weak or know your business\" routine is how abusers get away with a lot... and it\'s a weird form of abuse in itself. It keeps us from taking care of ourselves properly lest we be given more to cry about. I was raised by an Appalachia hillbilly dad, and geez, to him any indication of imperfection even admitted in our own *house* was grounds for screaming punishment. So I know how hard it is to live in that, Sonya. It SUX. Sux. And sux some more. Especially when you\'re isolated....
Gentlest hugs and support. Stress is a huge FM trigger for me, too. Purrs of sympathy.
I mean the \"tell nothing stoic faade\" environment, not implying or assuming you are abused, sorry. I am fried.
I feel your pain Sonya....literally. In the same way. Although my hubby and I have a lot of good days(mostly because I choose to ignore certainarguments and just keep silent) I have days like you describe. Noone acknowledges my pain or what causes it so I just keep it to myself nowadays. So I..like you...have noone to talk to about it either. That\'s why I come here. We all get it...and we sympathize. Not to sound evil or to curse anyone else but sometimes I wish I had a friend with my pain. Someone to talk to about it. Were here though whenever you need us! Hugs and prayers to you.
Leo- i know what you mean. I don\'t think I\'m in a abusive relationship, but sometimes even tho no hands are put on me, I can\'t help but think mentally I look like Tyson got a hold of me. I swear he doesn\'t do it on purpose, but I could swear he does. That makes no sense, I know.
I think today was just a \"overflow\" day. There is only so much you can take before you gotta release the overflow valve. I have had a little too much taking and ignoring. It\'s statements like you ALWAYS act like this and you NEVER clean/cook/get stuff done. I hate being told the things I \"do\" when I don\'t do that. It frustrates me soo. Bad.
Not I have hip/back/pelvis pain. I swear my uterus is trying to fight my hips to get out. And it\'s on fire.
Sorry for the TMI. Thanks guys. You have no idea the help you give me.
Been exactly where you are. It sucks and I hope things will go better for you