Stress and me.
I have always been able to handle stressful and crisis situations in a very calm and logical manner. But not anymore!!
Melany was finally discharged from hospital yesterday. Great news, but it was a horrific day for me! First I discovered that my bank card was missing. I freaked out!! Eventually I remembered where I used my card to buy a beautiful bouquet for Melany on Sunday. I drove to the shop at a speed of twice our speed limit. I was determined to drive over any cop who tried to stop me, but fortunately no cops were around. At the shop, the lady supervisor recognised me, and told me that she kept my bank card in their safe. I burst out in tears and hugged the poor embarreassed woman infront of everyone in the shop!
Melany had to wait for her specialist to discharge her from hospital. Meanwhile I packed her small car to maximum capacity. (Her clothes, little Lee-Ann's stuff and mine). Just after 3 pm. she phoned and told me that she had been discharged, but just had to wait for her medication. We drove to the hospital and waited in the ward with her. At 4 pm I walked over to the sister's station to ask about Melany's medication. The f*#@-up sister knew nothing about her discharge!!! I exploded, and we had a huge argument, top volume! Once again I started to cry, really sobbing this time. I walked out of the hospital to smoke a cigarette outside. Ten minutes later Melany phoned me with the news that she had her medication, and we could leave. Finally!!!
We left the hospital at 5 pm, and I had to drive her back to Belfast, 3 hours drive away. By 6:30 it was dark, and I hate driving in the dark. Melany was in a lot of pain, no matter how carefullyI drove. At 7 pm she was crying from pain. Then I put on the car's hazzards, and drove faster than I ever did before. I was scared and stressed, and kept praying all the way. At one point my whole body started to shake uncontrollably. I prayed more urgently, and after a while my body was steady again. We got to her flat at 8 pm. She had so much pain, that I had to phone the ambulance people to give her a pain injection and take her to her bed on a stretcher.
This morning Melany feels much better, but I am a wreck! My whole body is shaking, I have nausea and just feel like crying. I never used to be this way! I guess this is just how I am now.
And I don't receive any DS notifications anymore. Don't know why.
Melany was finally discharged from hospital yesterday. Great news, but it was a horrific day for me! First I discovered that my bank card was missing. I freaked out!! Eventually I remembered where I used my card to buy a beautiful bouquet for Melany on Sunday. I drove to the shop at a speed of twice our speed limit. I was determined to drive over any cop who tried to stop me, but fortunately no cops were around. At the shop, the lady supervisor recognised me, and told me that she kept my bank card in their safe. I burst out in tears and hugged the poor embarreassed woman infront of everyone in the shop!
Melany had to wait for her specialist to discharge her from hospital. Meanwhile I packed her small car to maximum capacity. (Her clothes, little Lee-Ann's stuff and mine). Just after 3 pm. she phoned and told me that she had been discharged, but just had to wait for her medication. We drove to the hospital and waited in the ward with her. At 4 pm I walked over to the sister's station to ask about Melany's medication. The f*#@-up sister knew nothing about her discharge!!! I exploded, and we had a huge argument, top volume! Once again I started to cry, really sobbing this time. I walked out of the hospital to smoke a cigarette outside. Ten minutes later Melany phoned me with the news that she had her medication, and we could leave. Finally!!!
We left the hospital at 5 pm, and I had to drive her back to Belfast, 3 hours drive away. By 6:30 it was dark, and I hate driving in the dark. Melany was in a lot of pain, no matter how carefullyI drove. At 7 pm she was crying from pain. Then I put on the car's hazzards, and drove faster than I ever did before. I was scared and stressed, and kept praying all the way. At one point my whole body started to shake uncontrollably. I prayed more urgently, and after a while my body was steady again. We got to her flat at 8 pm. She had so much pain, that I had to phone the ambulance people to give her a pain injection and take her to her bed on a stretcher.
This morning Melany feels much better, but I am a wreck! My whole body is shaking, I have nausea and just feel like crying. I never used to be this way! I guess this is just how I am now.
And I don't receive any DS notifications anymore. Don't know why.
Replies
In this life you\'ve been carrying a lot. Your life has been going from 1 crisis to another for years. Its normal I would think to find yourself feeling stressed. Some of it may be our way of dealing... worrying so much about everyone and feeling helpless... I do hope you\'ll find a point and time very soon when you can have a bit of piece. Hoping Melany is feeling better today. Hugs Elissa
I think anybody would be feeling stressed after a day like that. I\'m glad that the shop had your bank card safe. What a relief that would be. I\'m thankful Melany was able to come home. I\'ve been praying for her. I hope she is feeling better today and that you are able to have some moments of peace. Hugs, Paula
What a dreadful day for you! I am glad Melany is home. I hope she has a speedy recovery. Thank you to the police for being elsewhere when you needed to get places fast!!!!
Your reactions seem very familiar to me. I don\'t handle stress well at all either since I lost Lisa. And with a day like that, I think anyone would have been freaking out!
Take care of yourself, as I know you you will be caring for Melany. Wishing you both a gentle day.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
Oh my goodness, so many complications! I am so sorry, my friend!!! Yes, after losing a child, the world does not ever feel quite the same... I will be hitting year six this summer and it is better - but I have made vast changes in my health. I am sending you and your family love and prayers immediately!!!
Hugs,
Leda
Don\'t be hard on yourself - I don\'t handle stressful situations at all.. Remember awhile ago, I journaled about my \"tolerance filter\" has holes in it and Lauri said you mean \"shit shield\".....that says it all - I just don\'t have the filter, coping mechanisms, whatever it is I need sometimes....we are changed forever - it sounds like you handled everything that was thrown at you in a day beautifully......speedy recovery for Melany......Vicki
Be gentle with yourself as these are trying times.
Loving care and lots of deep breaths and pauses when you are able.
XO Joanie
Oh dear...bless your heart! A very difficult day for your nerves for sure, I\'m so sorry. Here\'s the good news! It\'s over and done with! YAY! You did it! You did what you had to do and now you can exhale!!
Pat yourself on the back and say what a good job you\'ve done of taking care of Melany! Release all the pent up anxiety you may still have....screaming in the shower does it for me....and then start a fresh day with fresh energy!
Tightest of heart hugs my sweet friend!! I\'m sending loads of positive energy your way!!
I remember all the horrors of getting discharged, it took so very long. I was a bit better at it than Hubby, once it was 7:30 PM when they left. Traffic was always a problem. Glad she is home and now you all can get a bit of rest. Speedy recovery to Melany. Peace, Kathy
Wow what a rough day...somehow you made it through...so remember that when you have those days...you do survive. Rest when you can...gentle hugs...Karen
I think you were amazing and deserve an award for holding \"it\" all together! I am so glad Melany is at home, lets face it, hospitals are no place to really heal!
I too now find that I am incapable of handling even the smallest amount of stress. No coping skills at all. Even if I manage to get through something, as soon as it\'s over, I collapse. So, even if you end up being a pile of pudding on the floor, after what you dealt with, you are amazing!
As Karen mentioned, try to get some rest, breathe and pat yourself on the back!
(((hugs))) Merrilee