stressed
hey everybody...i got some news yesterday from work that has totally thrown me for a loop. first and for most....i HATE change, especially when i am happy with what is and has been going on. well here it goes..... some of you know this about me and some of you dont...but i will catch all of you up;i am a special ed teacher in harlem, nyc. i teach literacy to 5 classes with ages ranging from 5-9. these children are mostly on the autistic spectrum, although there are some with down syndrom, and other with learning disibilty with an unknown etiology. i love this. i work on the alphabet, sight words, practice writing skills, book familiariity, prereading skills, promote and further help hith reading skills already known, etc. of the 5 classes, 1 is really high functioning and their lessons are different and better suited for their abilities. there is also 2 classes that are much lower than the rest. i modify my lessons based on all of their abilities. anyway, for funding reasons, they had to shut a class down in my school. since that class had only 4 instead of 6, they disbersed 2 kids into two other classes that had low numbers as well. (since this is special ed, classroom sizes are smaller. there is one teacher per 6 kids plus i have at least 2 paras per classroom. some of the kids require a one to one para because of behaviourial reasons and for additional educational help.) since this teacher has been with us for a couple of yrs, they sent him to our main site and now he is in a class there. that left us with one tcher too many. when you shut down a class, a tcher has to go. they wouldnt be fired or anything, just reassigned to a new class in another school when one becomes available. that can happen in a couple days, weeks, etc.... now matt had seniority over a tchr that started this sept. her current class is a very difficult one. she has 12 emotionally distubed kids with learning disabilities. she was just told the other day that she was going to be leaving. obviously, she is not happy. now this is where the fun comes in. they asked one of the the other teachers to take over her class. this girl is not happy about it at all!!! she had her kids for a long time and she loved her present situation. she found this out yesterday and then i got the news that i will be taking over her class...once again, i was not happy about this. dont get me wrong..i love the kids in this class....but i love teaching literacy. i love working with 5 classes with diff children. i havent taught a "homeroom" class before with the board of ed and my prior teaching experiences are so diff from what is being done now. i worked in a specialized autistic school that was not subject based and i worked in a childrens hospital with mdeically fragile little ones where subjects were not taught there either. the curriculum was so diff, testing was so diff, etc. so not only am i no longer goig to be teaching just the subject that i love, i will be taking on so much new stuff to learn and to teach. new subject, new m,aterials, new testing, etc. for those of you that dont know, special ed is taught very diff. i dont mean to sound like a whiner. this is not going to be an easy taks at all. i will be taken on approx 90% more work than i had before on top of all of the personal stuff i deal with at home. i walked out yesterday feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. i had such a tightness in my chest. i dont know what to do first. this morning i will be talking to the techer whose class i will be taking over...somebody who i will probably will be talking to ALOT over the next several days. oh and to make matters worse....but it is understandable, most of the stuff in her room is stuff she paid for with her own money...so it all goes with her!!!! this means i basically have to start from scratch! thank goodness i will have great paras....but still. oh this soooooooooooo sucks. this is way toooooooooooooooooo much of a change for me. what i think is messed up, is that as of right now....my vice principal believes in me, more than i believe in myself at the moment. trust me i will be fine. i know what i have to do and i am a good teacher!!!! i just wish my position didnt have to change. what can you do? thanks for reading this long one......
Replies
Hi Mindy! change is hard for me too. i am so very sorry, that there\'s some change at your school. we hope and pray, that it\'s not stressful, and that you all can adapt well to the new changes. we are sending positive vibes, and keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. We\'re here for you, and always feel free to write to us. :) We\'ll help you make it through each day angel. :) stay strong, keep focused, and keep in good spirits. :)
OOO Mindy I feel for you....my cousin is a teacher in the Broncs of NY and I know what you are talking about. It sounds like you have done a wonderful job with the special children....so why move you...geesh this is got to be hard not only on you....but the children as well.
Hang in there sweetheart and I hope things go well...it is a shame that the teachers have to buy stuff for their classrooms.....what the hell is wrong with American and our schools.
Know that I love ya!
XOXO
Dee
MINDY
WISH YOU COULD STAY, AT LEAST FINISH THE YR, THE CHANGES SHOULD BE DONE IN THE BEGINNING, IT AFFECTS THE KIDS TOO. YOU\'LL BE OK,
BIG HUGS.....
JAV
Dear Mindala,
Wow!!!! You are so lucky to have a job that is a career that anyone should be proud of!!!!! A job is something one does for money, a career is something you enjoy doing and you happen to get paid for it! lol
You will do just fine, change does not have to be a bad thing yaknow. Just relax and all the problems will work themselves out, I am sure of that!
Eric
Oh Mindy of course you dont want change as your routine is something to rely onI I agree with Jav and im sure youl be Ok You are a Special person and I am always here for you my naughty mate xx.