Strange busy times
I'll try to keep it brief?
After I went to the studygroup on tuesday, I was having dinner with my friends at my place in the evening. By then my cramps were getting more inventive, my arm sometimes turning backwards or into other impossible angles, freaking out my friends. Everything went pretty okay though I still needed to be very careful on the stairs and with standing up. My arm was looking weirdest but probably gave me the least trouble. That evening the cramps got a bit more powerful towards the night, but I slept very well and they had largely diminished on wednesday.
Every day since then the strength of the cramps has lessened. Sometimes I feel my arm burning up and tingling, wanting to contract but not having the power to do so. By now, my hands still fold automatically but quite loosely. My left side still feels weaker than my right. When I stand upright and look in the mirror I can see my left shoulder sagging compared to my right. My left leg has the tendency to limp. And my walking in general isn't back to normal yet either. Especially if I'm getting tired it gets worse quickly. But at least I'm already a lot more dynamic than I was at the start of the week. I think these last things should slowly fade away as well. If they haven't considerably done so after the weekend I think I will call back to the hospital just to check.
At the same time of all of this, my grandfather's health is quickly deteriorating and he might pass away somewhere this or the next week(s). I went to see him yesterday evening and he did recognise me, but otherwise he and his body just look completely exhausted. I'm relieved to know he is being very well cared for and that my family is dealing with it as well as they can.
On top of that, next weekend (so not this one) I was supposed to go to Istanbul with my friends to meet up with our other 2 friends who've been studying there for half a year. Three days getting guided around and hanging out with my friends who I haven't seen for so long. Of course I might not be able to go if my grandfather passes away around that time. I don't feel bitter about that possibility. But I don't like it that I won't know whether I'll be able to go until the very last moment.
Between all of this there is of course another essay to be written. 4000 words this time. So far my idea goes like this:
I am studying cyberspace law & culture, because I want to find out whether Wiki-Leaks is acting on valid grounds to make my readers understand the problem of executing jurisdiction in cyberspace and the significance of hacker culture.
Already my head is hurting with how complex this is, trying to keep apart all the different parties and their interests, wondering if they have to do with justice, ideology, morality, anarchy? I'm confident I'll figure it out but now I'm still in that crucial (and fun) stage of trying to find out what the heck it all is about. What's important and what's not. Etc. In any case I finally get to exploit and explore my fascination for internet and hacker cultures, plus an interest in the concept of justice that I picked up during my last essay. I'm excited about making something good out of this.
All in all, it's a lot of balls to keep in the air, and I'm kind of amazed by my own ability to handle it all. I hope I can sort of stay in power like this, to get through all of this OK.
After I went to the studygroup on tuesday, I was having dinner with my friends at my place in the evening. By then my cramps were getting more inventive, my arm sometimes turning backwards or into other impossible angles, freaking out my friends. Everything went pretty okay though I still needed to be very careful on the stairs and with standing up. My arm was looking weirdest but probably gave me the least trouble. That evening the cramps got a bit more powerful towards the night, but I slept very well and they had largely diminished on wednesday.
Every day since then the strength of the cramps has lessened. Sometimes I feel my arm burning up and tingling, wanting to contract but not having the power to do so. By now, my hands still fold automatically but quite loosely. My left side still feels weaker than my right. When I stand upright and look in the mirror I can see my left shoulder sagging compared to my right. My left leg has the tendency to limp. And my walking in general isn't back to normal yet either. Especially if I'm getting tired it gets worse quickly. But at least I'm already a lot more dynamic than I was at the start of the week. I think these last things should slowly fade away as well. If they haven't considerably done so after the weekend I think I will call back to the hospital just to check.
At the same time of all of this, my grandfather's health is quickly deteriorating and he might pass away somewhere this or the next week(s). I went to see him yesterday evening and he did recognise me, but otherwise he and his body just look completely exhausted. I'm relieved to know he is being very well cared for and that my family is dealing with it as well as they can.
On top of that, next weekend (so not this one) I was supposed to go to Istanbul with my friends to meet up with our other 2 friends who've been studying there for half a year. Three days getting guided around and hanging out with my friends who I haven't seen for so long. Of course I might not be able to go if my grandfather passes away around that time. I don't feel bitter about that possibility. But I don't like it that I won't know whether I'll be able to go until the very last moment.
Between all of this there is of course another essay to be written. 4000 words this time. So far my idea goes like this:
I am studying cyberspace law & culture, because I want to find out whether Wiki-Leaks is acting on valid grounds to make my readers understand the problem of executing jurisdiction in cyberspace and the significance of hacker culture.
Already my head is hurting with how complex this is, trying to keep apart all the different parties and their interests, wondering if they have to do with justice, ideology, morality, anarchy? I'm confident I'll figure it out but now I'm still in that crucial (and fun) stage of trying to find out what the heck it all is about. What's important and what's not. Etc. In any case I finally get to exploit and explore my fascination for internet and hacker cultures, plus an interest in the concept of justice that I picked up during my last essay. I'm excited about making something good out of this.
All in all, it's a lot of balls to keep in the air, and I'm kind of amazed by my own ability to handle it all. I hope I can sort of stay in power like this, to get through all of this OK.
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