Stress

My father is back in the hospital and his condition (congestive heart failure) is getting worse it seems by the day. He's also been quite dillusional these past few weeks. I feel bad for my one sister who lives nearby and has to deal with all the care and decisions. A DNR goes into effect tomorrow. This is very difficult I know for all the siblings (nine of us). None of us expected my Mom to go first since she was 7 yrs. younger and always seemed in better health than he was...she was always worried about his heart condition and she ended up having open heart surgery and spent the next 5 months in ICU before she died. That was nine yrs. ago (still miss her terribly). We are all scattered across the country and we all flew back and forth when my mother was in the hospital. With my father it's different. He was extremely abusive when we were growing up (and a doctor no less) so none of us have visited as much since my mom passed away. I know he won't live much longer and plan to make a trip in the next few weeks to see him, but I'm so consumed with a mixture of emotions right now. None of us had a close relationship with him but still he is our father. We all still suffer with the scars, both physical and emotional, of our childhood and it has impacted all of our adult lives in various ways from anxiety disorders and depression to a few suicide attempts and addictions. A very emotionally confusing time...