Stress

Well, I have gotten 9 new fires in 11 working days.  Been on the road.  Had a bad cold this past week.  (including chills and aches.)  Driving all over the Eastern half of PA.  Expectations of customers are at times out of control.  Can't get ANY work done and then more people yelling at me.  Shorthanded and no new hire in sight.  Really struggling.  Had not been putting in a lot of overtime for the last year.  I had burnt myself out so bad.  But now I am just really behind and struggling and having small anxiety attacks again.  Have been smoking again.  Just a few here and there but scared that it will go back to a pack a day.  It could so easily go back to that.  Bad eating, no exercise and my life is just outta control.  Praying for a break.  Husband and son are at the Phillies game tonight, so I will be working late with some peace and quiet.  The phone just rings off the hook all day and before I know it, the day is gone and I got nothing done.  I just feel SO unproductive across the board.  Even my house is just a mess.  I can't stand it.   Don't know how to get the control back, or if I really had it to begin with.  But I have to do something.   Had a few bad days with David.  Stealing again.  Found some gold coins (proof set) in his room.  He stole that out of Paul's drawer.  A bunch of empty soda cans again.  Now I found my gold & diamond cross in his pocket with the chain all full of knots.  He did get the knots all out, thank God.  I thought I was going to have to take it to a jewelers.  He went in my drawers and says he just wanted to see what kind of jewelry I had.  Apparently he is going through all of mine and my husbands drawers in my room.  I kept my cool.  He seemed contrite.  I told him he needed to think of an appropriate consequence.  I am tired of punishing him and taking everything away and it isn't working anyway.  I am tired of negative, negative, negative.  Paul is looking into getting locks on some of the doors.  What a pain in the butt! Bascially, just tired.  I really like my job but I feel bruised and battered.  I just want it to slow down for a bit so I can get caught up.  I feel like I haven't had a break since last summer.  I know my boss is trying.  He took 3 claims away from me where there was nothing left but a hole in the ground (and the customers have to list everything they own from memory.)  He gave those to people in New England who are not even getting 1/2 the volume of new claims we are getting here.  I caught an attitude from 2 of the women.  It is so frustrating.  I drive hours, hug customers, give them emergency money.  They have beaucoup office time and they are complaining.  So not fair.  Can't afford to give up or quit.  Just have to wake up and take it one day at a time.