Storm Earth and Fire heed my call
Storm Earth and Fire heed my call!!!!
i always did like that one line from warcraft. I dont know why but it gave me comfort it always did it made me feel not so alone. I have alienated everyone I could have turned to for help at this point. That bipolar chick I knew and her crazy imaginary cousin, mishti, the sheikh, lulu is dead and long gone, so is AD. I now regret going after xara I shouldnt have hit on her but she had such kissable lips I could not resist. I mean the first time we hung out, I hadnt smoked out in the open in over a year and I hadnt been with a woman in just as long.
I have a theory see when I am sober and manic I tend to be able to see things I can sense whats going to happen or I shape things such that I get what I want. So I wanted to kiss her and I did and we had an affair, a torrid torrid affair I must add but then she had a guilt trip and her boyfriend had objections to my sucking her face off and she eventually told me to fuck off.
Now see normally that wouldnt be a problem for me I mean come on what am I like 15 year old and in puppy love? but xara posed a more complicated problem. Now we were friends long before i starting mauling her with my mouth and she wasnt just any friend. She was the perfect punching bag; very low maintenance, good to make fun of, smart but didnt know it and above all a doctor so good to shoot the shit about brain cooties with. Now where I went wrong was I started depending too heavily on her and its been hard to recover since she dumped my sorry ass. Moral of the story never shit where you eat or you might end up having your mouth full of your own shit.
Now we stand alone once more; alone, lonely and broken. I have been broken and put together so many times that I have started to think I lose a piece of myself every time. Each time I fall I leave a piece of myself behind on my way back up. I dont know if I have enough of me left this time to pull back up.
But in order to pull back up I need to know where to start I need to have a point of origin a place to start fixing myself.
I would say the most obvious starting place is where I should begin; prayers, gym and education.
So well I started praying this morning, gym I start this evening and education well I downloaded a load of books lets see if i actually read them this time.
The rest I will figure out as I go along
i always did like that one line from warcraft. I dont know why but it gave me comfort it always did it made me feel not so alone. I have alienated everyone I could have turned to for help at this point. That bipolar chick I knew and her crazy imaginary cousin, mishti, the sheikh, lulu is dead and long gone, so is AD. I now regret going after xara I shouldnt have hit on her but she had such kissable lips I could not resist. I mean the first time we hung out, I hadnt smoked out in the open in over a year and I hadnt been with a woman in just as long.
I have a theory see when I am sober and manic I tend to be able to see things I can sense whats going to happen or I shape things such that I get what I want. So I wanted to kiss her and I did and we had an affair, a torrid torrid affair I must add but then she had a guilt trip and her boyfriend had objections to my sucking her face off and she eventually told me to fuck off.
Now see normally that wouldnt be a problem for me I mean come on what am I like 15 year old and in puppy love? but xara posed a more complicated problem. Now we were friends long before i starting mauling her with my mouth and she wasnt just any friend. She was the perfect punching bag; very low maintenance, good to make fun of, smart but didnt know it and above all a doctor so good to shoot the shit about brain cooties with. Now where I went wrong was I started depending too heavily on her and its been hard to recover since she dumped my sorry ass. Moral of the story never shit where you eat or you might end up having your mouth full of your own shit.
Now we stand alone once more; alone, lonely and broken. I have been broken and put together so many times that I have started to think I lose a piece of myself every time. Each time I fall I leave a piece of myself behind on my way back up. I dont know if I have enough of me left this time to pull back up.
But in order to pull back up I need to know where to start I need to have a point of origin a place to start fixing myself.
I would say the most obvious starting place is where I should begin; prayers, gym and education.
So well I started praying this morning, gym I start this evening and education well I downloaded a load of books lets see if i actually read them this time.
The rest I will figure out as I go along
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Good luck.. :)
mehhhh now I cant stop thinking about xaras lips :/
god she had kissable lips and she was really uppity about how she liked kissing and how much she wanted to kiss it was orgasmically good :(