Stop This Ride...
...I wanna get off.
I'm so tired of feeling the way I do. I'm tired of the... what I thought was Spasticity but have recently learned that it's actually weakness, that has me stumbling and unstable while standing in one place! I'm tired of the fatigue and the tingling. I'm frustrated that I still feel like I'm in some sort of limbo.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bother to everyone around me because I have to constantly ask for help with things I used to do without a second thought. I'm tired of feeling like I'm made of glass when I have to break down and tell people about the diagnosis... and, yes, I still have trouble actually up and saying it.
I'm waiting for someone to come up behind me and yell "You've been PUNKED!"
Please stop this ride. I wanna get off.
I'm so tired of feeling the way I do. I'm tired of the... what I thought was Spasticity but have recently learned that it's actually weakness, that has me stumbling and unstable while standing in one place! I'm tired of the fatigue and the tingling. I'm frustrated that I still feel like I'm in some sort of limbo.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bother to everyone around me because I have to constantly ask for help with things I used to do without a second thought. I'm tired of feeling like I'm made of glass when I have to break down and tell people about the diagnosis... and, yes, I still have trouble actually up and saying it.
I'm waiting for someone to come up behind me and yell "You've been PUNKED!"
Please stop this ride. I wanna get off.
Replies
Yikes, I just saw this and ahem..... you\'re not alone here. Of course, we have weakness. DOesn\'t mean we have to give in to it. I do remember though, the first time I heard a doctor breeze by the term \"muscle wasting\" I had to back her up and fight back the tears. It\'s like a merry-go-round of mourning we go through. It\'s going to happen to get upset. It\'s okay to do that. I found a new toy today. I have a shower curtain, I just practiced boxing punches on it today. Gets out some frustration, burns calories and is fun. (also helps strengthen the arms)
What makes you think you\'re a bother to anyone? People who love you do so because of who you are, not what you can or cannot do in a particular moment, right? If it\'s just recently, you\'re feeling this, I hope it subsides. I know darn well you are loved because of you.
The diagnosis? It just is something they\'ve decided to give us as a label for now... doesn\'t mean we have to like it, to invite it to stay forever. There are so many cases where MS is a misdiagnosis for things like ASPARTAME in the diet sodas or MSG - all this stuff can wreak havoc.
I guess we\'ve been \"PUNKED\" in a way but hey - someone hits a volleyball your way, you gonna let it smack ya? or you gonna slam that baby back where it came from?
So, you can hate the ride, you can want to get off but, you have a life besides the MS. So, remember to enjoy whatever you can and keep on working at whatever your goals are. :)
Ranting is good for you though, right? Keep on letting it out. :)
Hugs,
~Lorrie