Stop morning blues?
Stop morning blues? God I have such a hard time every morning! I wake up everyday with this sick feeling of impending doom. I just want to hide under the sheets and never get up. I have so much to do and don’t want to do anything. When will this awful feeling pass? I start to feel a little better in the evening but I never feel quite normal. I pray to God to someday be normal again! I’m only a week into the Prozac and two weeks into therapy but it feels like an eternity. It feels like this will never end. Last night I almost felt normal but it never lasts. Morning comes and I’m back in the black pit again. I just wake up in misery! I have tried going for walks, listening to the birds, meditation…right now I just can’t get any relief! I pray in-time things will start to fall into place and I can get back to a normal life. I can’t change my current situation now…not for several years…so I have to change my thinking. I want to live for the NOW not cry about the past or fear the future! It seems that all of the sudden I can’t handle any type of responsibility. I get things done eventually but everything I do feels like I’m running through tar. Work, paying bills, housework…everything…I have to force myself to do even the simplest of tasks. Is this part of depression or am I just a lazy jerk? I feel like that stupid place has complicated my life to where I can’t handle anything! I know this is foolish but it’s how I feel inside and until I can either get rid of that place (years and years if I’m lucky!) or start to think different I’m going to be miserable. I pray therapy can help get my head straight about life in general. I know it’s ultimately up to me to changing my own mind. I need to think positive and appreciate what I have. I need to live for today. Between beating myself up over a bad decision made 3 years ago to making myself sick about every worst-case scenario about that place that may or may not happen in the future…I’m just tired! God please help me to enjoy life once again! I just want to have joy and happiness! I just want to have my mind and myself back! Please God bring me back!!