stood up but got kicked down again
Well, yesterday I stood myself up and did what I had to do to get what needed to be done, done....but then I got pushed back down again!!
Got a call from my nurse manager. Some of my certifications have expired but for good reason. Because I am a peds ER nurse, I have to maintain ACLS, PALS, BLS and TNCC. Well, since all of this lovely joint inflammation and pain have reared it's ugly head, there is no way I can possibly do chest compressions to pass the courses. So, ACLS and PALS have expired. She found out about this and went to human resources with it.
We met on Wednesday and she said it was not problem and that as long as I signed up for them I would be ok (and I am scheduled for them even though I know I still can't complete the task) Well, evidently, human resources decided this was not ok and as of yesterday I have been taken off work...indefinitely.
I am scheduled this Monday to have a functional ability test to see how the disease process affects my ADL's (activities of daily living) as well as my job. Disability will be decided from there.
I knew in my mind that eventually it would come down to reducing my work load, but I wanted to make that decision, not have human resources decide for me. And, as I explained to my nurse manager, I worked hard for my nursing lisence and planned to keep working until I could not stand on my own two feet.
The decision has been made and there is no going back from here. I can't change the way Lupus or Sjogren's Syndrome affect my body and I can't afford the Benlysta that may make it better. I am in a catch 22!! Now that I am off work, I can't afford anything. How will my family survive? Why should my kids and my husband be affected by MY disease? Why should the team I work with have to work short staffed now because of MY disease?
Autoimmune conditions affect everyone around us, not just us!! I have been asked in the past why I put up so many walls. And I have lost many friends because of those walls. Well, the answer is simple, I am a nurturer and I am trying to protect those around me from a disease that is not theirs yet will affect them just as much. It is heartbreaking to me to watch how this affects my children and husband.
As if the disease has not left me feeling lost, alone and confused, now basically losing my job has made it that much worse. My husbands response was that we will survive, we always do, and that this may be a blessing in disguise. This may be the sign that it is time for me to slow down. He said he knew I would never stop on my own because I am stubborn and strong willed. He said that I have kept pushing myself because that is who I am and he has never known someone at determined as me. Maybe he is right. Maybe it is time for me to slow down. But, in the mean time, I have no income and my family relies on that!!
Got a call from my nurse manager. Some of my certifications have expired but for good reason. Because I am a peds ER nurse, I have to maintain ACLS, PALS, BLS and TNCC. Well, since all of this lovely joint inflammation and pain have reared it's ugly head, there is no way I can possibly do chest compressions to pass the courses. So, ACLS and PALS have expired. She found out about this and went to human resources with it.
We met on Wednesday and she said it was not problem and that as long as I signed up for them I would be ok (and I am scheduled for them even though I know I still can't complete the task) Well, evidently, human resources decided this was not ok and as of yesterday I have been taken off work...indefinitely.
I am scheduled this Monday to have a functional ability test to see how the disease process affects my ADL's (activities of daily living) as well as my job. Disability will be decided from there.
I knew in my mind that eventually it would come down to reducing my work load, but I wanted to make that decision, not have human resources decide for me. And, as I explained to my nurse manager, I worked hard for my nursing lisence and planned to keep working until I could not stand on my own two feet.
The decision has been made and there is no going back from here. I can't change the way Lupus or Sjogren's Syndrome affect my body and I can't afford the Benlysta that may make it better. I am in a catch 22!! Now that I am off work, I can't afford anything. How will my family survive? Why should my kids and my husband be affected by MY disease? Why should the team I work with have to work short staffed now because of MY disease?
Autoimmune conditions affect everyone around us, not just us!! I have been asked in the past why I put up so many walls. And I have lost many friends because of those walls. Well, the answer is simple, I am a nurturer and I am trying to protect those around me from a disease that is not theirs yet will affect them just as much. It is heartbreaking to me to watch how this affects my children and husband.
As if the disease has not left me feeling lost, alone and confused, now basically losing my job has made it that much worse. My husbands response was that we will survive, we always do, and that this may be a blessing in disguise. This may be the sign that it is time for me to slow down. He said he knew I would never stop on my own because I am stubborn and strong willed. He said that I have kept pushing myself because that is who I am and he has never known someone at determined as me. Maybe he is right. Maybe it is time for me to slow down. But, in the mean time, I have no income and my family relies on that!!
Replies