Stir Crazy
Well, we've had 42 days of 100+ temperatures with no end in sight. My first weeks of retirement have been ridiculous. There are things to do. The back yard is littered with dead branches and limbs, but its too hot. Still getting the courage to clean up the rest of the house. I did put up the solar curtains which should make it cooler and lower the electric bill a bit. Took my mental exam. Wonder if I passed. Waiting for disability decision and decision on getting my social security medical and drug parts paid for. Have lost hope on them. Basically, I'm doing the same things I was doing when I was hunting a job. Wow! What a retirement!
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The hell of going through SSA for benefits can try the strongest of us yet alone when we are ill and lack good support.
Coping with disability alone is the hardest \'job\' I have ever had in my entire life. I am often too weary to find good sleep. I sometimes would like to simply lay down for a really good nap and not wake up. The moments of joy and happiness are so very special to me now - not one good moment is taken for granted - ever. I am often left to rest here in bed and I simply have adapted to this reality. I started getting my benefits three years ago after five years of surviving on only my retirement savings. I came so close to becoming homeless and when I learned that I had no one I could turn, not even the Christian community that I was a life-time member of, I soon saw death wrapping its arms around me. I actually collapsed a few times because my disability became so severe from trying to survive all of this alone. I am now trying to heal from all I am trying to survive but doing it alone is not allowing for much of a healing as this is very much a crisis that I am trying to survive alone.
Thankfully we have DS for support and only have to take one small step at a time.
Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia