still tired but its a new day.

I still am having heart beating fast at timesbut i started  my nicotine  patch agian at the 21mgs this time, so it helps more with cravings. Going to try to go to my ma and dads house, my moms a hoarder of paper and bulk food so it gets hard going over there. Paper is everywhere. My mom just drops it. She dosnt care. I will spend half my time picking up paper and putting it in boxs. Then I will have to save it and put it in a room.  She  watches me,  so I don't throw it away.  Its sad.  Thats why its hard for me to go over their house.  I have to take my anxiety med for sure before I go over their house.  Drives me nuts. She always  wasn't  like this, but it just kepts getting  worse  as she  gets older.  Plus I haven't  been feeling  well physically  and mentally. . I will be  never get  like her, I  told myself  along time ago when i was young. I do what my dad wants me to do too when i visit. He needs help. He is weak. My mom just lets it go. I pray to have the energy to do stuff for them. My doc is worried  about me. We will see, what ever happens, happens . I will do what time will allow. I do have my family to take care of too, my husband  and boys, well men.