Still struggling

Well, I feel very guilty at this moment. First, I did not make the recovery inc support group meeting today. I was so depressed... I did get to call some more credit card companies to cancel/close accts. All my good payment history ( down the tubes) but just recently after realizing and being honest with myself that I have been living on credit cards so rather than max them all out this will force me to deal wth the issues. I am really going to need support. Today is the 3rd year anniversary if my grandmothers death. I miss her so very much.