Still no contact...
So, since our fight a week ago, there has still been no contact from my boyfriend, and I havent reached out either.
Through out our two and a half year relationship whenever we have had a fight, I have always (and I do mean every single time), been the one to make contact and try to fix things. He has always been the one to ignore my calls and texts until he was ready or just started feeling bad for ignoring me. I just want, for once, him to actually put forth an effort that he is invested in this... but it doesnt look like I am going to get it.
I think the denial is starting to wear off and the realization has started to set in. I had a couple of moments during the weekend where I teared up and felt hurt. I kept thinking, really? He cares so little that he just isnt going to try at all? This is where we are at? This whole time I have been the only one trying to make this work? And he is just going to throw it all away? So yeah, I have still decided not to reach out at all. I need to see him want this. I still think its probably just best to cut ties all together and move on. This weekend alone wasnt so bad, I was actually looking forward to it. But I know in the future I am not going to want to spend every weekend alone.
He did post a couple of weird things on FB that I think was directed at me, but unsure... I could be completely off because I thought I knew him, but I am realizing maybe I dont. One thing he posted was a song about monsters and being lost, but being lost only for a little while. There was a comment stating that he hoped the song would make sense to someone else also... I didnt respond.
Later on that night he posted another status update and I am going to change it a little to keep anonymity, but it went like this... "Is ***** ***** up your butt?" If this was directed at me, it sounds like he is pissed that I am not reaching out to him, but like I said, I am so tired of being the one to make first contact and fixing things... I am done with being the only one to put in effort.
I still have my date, April 6, of when I am going to end this all together if he is not going to reach out. I am sure he doesnt know why I am mad, still, and I wish he did. And I know he is thinking its for reasons that its not... But I am just not doing it anymore... I am not going to be the only one putting effort into this relationship, and if that is how its always going to be, I better just be hurt now and heal... then spend more years disappointed, hurt, and unhappy.
Through out our two and a half year relationship whenever we have had a fight, I have always (and I do mean every single time), been the one to make contact and try to fix things. He has always been the one to ignore my calls and texts until he was ready or just started feeling bad for ignoring me. I just want, for once, him to actually put forth an effort that he is invested in this... but it doesnt look like I am going to get it.
I think the denial is starting to wear off and the realization has started to set in. I had a couple of moments during the weekend where I teared up and felt hurt. I kept thinking, really? He cares so little that he just isnt going to try at all? This is where we are at? This whole time I have been the only one trying to make this work? And he is just going to throw it all away? So yeah, I have still decided not to reach out at all. I need to see him want this. I still think its probably just best to cut ties all together and move on. This weekend alone wasnt so bad, I was actually looking forward to it. But I know in the future I am not going to want to spend every weekend alone.
He did post a couple of weird things on FB that I think was directed at me, but unsure... I could be completely off because I thought I knew him, but I am realizing maybe I dont. One thing he posted was a song about monsters and being lost, but being lost only for a little while. There was a comment stating that he hoped the song would make sense to someone else also... I didnt respond.
Later on that night he posted another status update and I am going to change it a little to keep anonymity, but it went like this... "Is ***** ***** up your butt?" If this was directed at me, it sounds like he is pissed that I am not reaching out to him, but like I said, I am so tired of being the one to make first contact and fixing things... I am done with being the only one to put in effort.
I still have my date, April 6, of when I am going to end this all together if he is not going to reach out. I am sure he doesnt know why I am mad, still, and I wish he did. And I know he is thinking its for reasons that its not... But I am just not doing it anymore... I am not going to be the only one putting effort into this relationship, and if that is how its always going to be, I better just be hurt now and heal... then spend more years disappointed, hurt, and unhappy.
Replies
My ex-husband used to play his little \"silent treatment\" pity parties and tantrums. I, like you, was always the one that went to him and tried to make everything \"right\" again. I researched and learned about men giving women the \"silent treatment\" on the internet. It is actually a form of emotional abuse they are using against you to play their mind and power control games. I\'m glad you are seeing the light in your situation now. Be strong...you are worth so MUCH more than a cowardly man who can\'t even talk to you like a grown adult to work things out! (((Hugs)))