still mourning
So last night my wife starts crying and I asked her why and she said because she misses Sweetie (our last dog).
So I am thinking to my self, it was your idea to put her to sleep when I was willing to spend extra money to see if the vet could make her last a little longer! Now you're paying the price for not asking the vet a simple question, "Is there anything else you can do for her!"
When she gets the idea in her head that she is right, it's best to just let her do what she wants to do, otherwise, she'll start blaming me for her suffering, lack of quality of life, and anything and everything.
So I told her that we will see her in heaven and she will thank us for alleviating her pain and suffering and then she stopped crying.
I think she notices some differences between our new dog and the last one and that just makes her miss our last dog all the more but I think time heals all wounds and our new pup is beginning to grow on her in other ways. A little harder to house train and bites alot so I may have to seek some advice on better ways to train her.
Love you all!
So I am thinking to my self, it was your idea to put her to sleep when I was willing to spend extra money to see if the vet could make her last a little longer! Now you're paying the price for not asking the vet a simple question, "Is there anything else you can do for her!"
When she gets the idea in her head that she is right, it's best to just let her do what she wants to do, otherwise, she'll start blaming me for her suffering, lack of quality of life, and anything and everything.
So I told her that we will see her in heaven and she will thank us for alleviating her pain and suffering and then she stopped crying.
I think she notices some differences between our new dog and the last one and that just makes her miss our last dog all the more but I think time heals all wounds and our new pup is beginning to grow on her in other ways. A little harder to house train and bites alot so I may have to seek some advice on better ways to train her.
Love you all!
Replies
Our puppy went through a phase of trying to bite, don\'t know if this is what your doing already, but it worked for her - so I thought I\'d share.....every time she put her mouth around our arm whether it hurt or not, we let out a very loud `ouch\', pulled away and crossed our arms and looked away from her for a few minutes......she soon learnt.........now she doesn\'t even attempt to bite.....hope it helps.....glad your new pup is growing on your wife, she will never replace your last dog, but will hopefully help with the healing process.
You, wife and puppy have to determine who is alpha dog of the group!
As for your wife\'s tears and sadness it is like when we grieve for a person - we have good days and then BAM we get a memory that knocks up off our pins. Losing your Sweetie is fresh and you both have to work through the greiving process and it will not be the same for each of you.
Hopefully you are both able to support each other during this difficult time.
HUGE HUGS!
It\'s probably her realizing she could have tried more. Regret is hard, so try not to be hard on her for her up & down feelings with Sweetie. I think you know how to train a dog, Sweetie was great! They have to learn their limits and respect you.. yet be themselves. Enjoy working with your new pup, all will be fin.... IN TIME! :)
Big Hugs!
My DH and I went through it with our last cat, who had cancer. Could we have done more? (Not affordably, alas.) Could he have lived a little longer? It\'s extremely hard!
Good luck with the new pup!
My friend it\'s never good to ask those questions because usually the next step is not good enough. Also, a vet will tell you if this is a condition that is treatable and worth treating. They will not put a dog down just because an owner thinks it\'s a good idea. Most vets have to do an examination to make sure that the people aren\'t just trying to get rid of a problem which I\'m sad to say...a lot of people try to do.
She is expressing normal guilt, as part of the grieving process. And you are angry and it\'s ok to be angry at her...but at the same time you have to let it go. You MUST let it go. Any \"fix\" the vets could have given you is temporary at best and your dog gave you a sign it was time.
Try to do your best in not comparing new dog to Sweetie. The new puppy is going to be different, but I do recommend the puppy classes at a local Pet Smart. I took my 1 year old when we got him and it has stuck with him!
I think you have to look at the positive and realize that she is now pain free and sometimes it\'s quality of life not quantity. I hope your new pup will bring you much joy in the days ahead. Puppies are frustrating in those first few months. They chew everything and need lots of attention. My puppies...lol are four years old and they still love to turn the garbage can over or shred the box of kleenex. Good luck. Much love. Robin
What an adorable little dog! I\'d second the suggestion about puppy classes and agree that regrets are part of the grief process. You both did the best you knew how with Sweetie\'s best interests in mind-nothing to feel badly about.