still making bad decisions
i met this dude about a month ago. i bought marijuana from him. it has been really hard for me to buy from anyone b/c everyone thinks i am a police. i guess i dress well, groom well, and carry myself well. well, i guess the guy has gotten attached to me. i think he finds me non-threatening. i think he thinks he can control me. i think he thinks i am a punk and maybe gay. he asked me to help him buy a large amount of marijuana for him. he thinks i know the right people. i don't. know one knows that i smoke. i do it by myself. it helps me escape - bad idea. maybe i am acting out with it. either way it is a bad judgement call. anyway back to him, i actually knew some people - shocking that sold weed. but he was looking to pay cheap and it did not workout. i'm glad b/c i know i should not be doing this - i could go to jail. it is over and i told him i cannot help him with that anymore. now he is asking me to help him find a job. i asked a few people and received some leads. i text him on the progress. his reply: you have a felony too. that shocked me and made me nervous. it had nothing to do with what we were discussing. i wondered how he found that information and why. it spooked me. it worried me. it hurt me. it was a bad moment in time for me - i was drinking a lot. i was acting out. it was before i found a therapist. it was before yoga! it was a set back for me to see that reply: you have a felony too. he's a rough guy. he lives a rough life. i have no business dealing with him. he asked for my help and that is why i was dealing with him. i am going to have to leave him alone.
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