Still Mad

Today is the stbx's birthday and I still feel really Mad I hate to say it but this feeling of anger is better than feeling hopeless. At least I sort of feel like I can handle it better. Does this make sense?? I don't know, I still feel hopeless sometimes but that feeling is fading.
I hope this anger goes away soon because I don't like to stay angry to long. I don't feel like taking revenge or anything, just wouldn't be upset if he was upset. I feel like he deserves it.
Just venting again...