Still in shock....

That's really it shocked....When I am home alone, I hate it! Most of the day I am good, but this seems cruel and unreal. NOW I AM TERRIFIED TO GET PREGNANT!! It's like the baby was taken and now I am terrified to get pregnant. He was beautiful, lived 2 days in the NICU. We named him Austin. I can't believe this. My water broke and cervix opened. I can't even type the details because the last 2 weeks have been awful. I feel like I'll never heal.  I try to hold on to the fact the God did give us 2 days to say good-bye, my baby brought my husband and I closer than I could ever have imagined. I just can't get over that it's over. How do I think of trying again?? without being completely crippled with fear???... I go back to work on Tuesday and have to face my class with a completely flat stomach, when I left with my 22 week baby bump. We have to talk and work it out on Tuesday with my school. Wow this is completely overwhelming how your life can change in an instant.

Replies

nikkinash08
nikkinash08

Thinks about you and praying for you and loving you so much. I feel like we are DS sisters.
deleted_user
deleted_user

All you can do is take everything one step and one breath at a time. My heart goes out to you and your dh. Take care of yourselves and allow yourselves to feel and be okay with every emotion and feeling you come to. They are all part of the grieving process and important to your healing emotionally from this sad loss. You are a strong woman and you will get through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Xo
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have been praying for you and will continue to do so--it is not something that you can ever forget, but when you have given yourself time and space to grieve, and further time to heal emotionally and mentally, there will be a time to think about how to continue. I don\'t think there is any way to predict how ling that will take, but you are still young and have time, and I do think you will be able to try again when you feel ready. Prayers to you, DS sister-
deleted_user
deleted_user

Is there any way that you can take a little more time off of work? Praying for you hon. (((hugs))))
albgray
albgray

I am so sorry for your pain. May God give you peace that only He can provide.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My heart is broken for you. I wish there were some words to help. there are none. Grief and sorrow. I pray for you and your little angel. I know in time things will become more clear and maybe you will be able to try again, until then I wish you find some peace and wonder if the doctors can give you some answers. (((hugs))) to you and your beautiful angel baby.
EELC
EELC

I\'m saying a prayer for strength for you. The fear of trying again after a miscarriage is hard, and I imagine it\'s even harder after a preterm labor loss. But when you\'re ready, you find the strength inside to try again, because the only other option is not trying, and that means no baby.

Give yourself time. When you are ready, meet with your OB to ask about trying again --> they usually can come up with a plan to try prevent preterm labor in someone they know is high risk, although it might involve a lot of bedrest.

For right now, just keep breathing, that\'s all you have to do.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am sending you strength and prayers. I agree with Elin. I have suffered miscarriage and a massive cornual ectopic but not a pre-term loss. I did watch my sister deliver a beautiful baby girl at 26 weeks she named Jessica who died in her arms within hours and I have never forgotten what that felt like and can\'t begin to imagine what she went through. We kept saying that Jessica would want a sibling and we stuck to the hope and serenity that she was a fantastic mother and a baby deserved that. She now has 2 children Kayla and TJ (20 and 16) and Kayla has Jessica\'s name tattooed on her wrist although they never met. We never forgot Jessica and we carried her memory through the years although brief.
Find the strength in time to pick up the pieces and try again.
I wish you all the best. xoxo~ Amy
ardua
ardua

thinking of you and praying for you to be strong and to find peace. (((hugs))) so sorry you have had to experience this.