Still in shock

Sometimes I still think this is just a terrible nightmare.  Every morning I have to remind myself that losing Gemma really happened.  Learning to live with the loss of her is so hard.  I miss her in everything I do.  I'll never get to do all the things I wanted to do with and for her.  I am not only dealing with the death of my daughter, I am dealing with the death of the person I used to be.  I am forever changed.  I may be dealing with the death of my ability to conceive, the death of my hope and faith, and the death of my dreams and happiness.  This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I feel that God is asking too much of us.  Why do other people have lighter crosses to bear?  Why do other people get to have as many children as they want?  Why did God not intervene and save her?