Still in Ontario

I started to write this a few days ago and it magically disappeared!  I shall try again.

I am getting rather homesick.  Not for my condo, but for Joe and my friends.  I have been here since the beginning of November!

Cevyn moves on the first of February and my ticket home is booked for the 4th.  However, nowadays it is a bit iffy - will the planes be flying or not?  

It has been an emotional roller coaster.  Cevyn has been struggling since David died.  It will be good to be out of here and in a new place.  Howver it is starting all over again.  She was planning to stay in this house indefinitely.  In fact, she has been patching the holes in the walls where they put up shelves, a large screen TV and a ton of photos and art.  

At first I thought that it might be in her best interest to stay here but I now realize it probably wouldn't.  I took over  David's room shortly after the Celebration of Life. I wanted the kids to feel comfprtable.  It is now Granny's room.  They talk about Uncle Davey but come and attack me at 6:30 or 7 every morning!  Cevyn doesn't come in.  I mentioned it.  She said that is the last thing David saw before he died and it just makes her sad.   I admit, I was a bit uncertain at first but we changed the furniture and moved his stuff out.  I hung up my clothes and can go in and out of the closet without having memories.  So  I am staying a few days after to help start unpacking.

I am going to miss Cevyn and the girls terribly but I must admit, I will enjoy the peace and quiet with just Joe and me.  I am also looking forward to seeing my friends.  We talk on the phone but it just isn't the same.

I have been quite emotional lately - thinking about Lisa and wondering what life would be like if she hadn't died so early.  Cevyn talks about her a bit more these days but she is still struggling with the loss of her mom and now her step brother and best friend. Life is just not F'ing fair.

Lisa:  I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy