Still Holding

Still at the urban homestead. My doubts are growing on the feasibility of the potential farm projects. The landlords (hubs and bro) are still vague and sketchy on their own desires for it. I am not at all sure it is even real to their senses yet. Even after we are grown, Daddy's business is vague and outside the off-spring perception. Just another dot on the map to which Daddy disappears to in his busy life. . . From my housewoofer perspective, I am leery of pushing forward. Hubby tends to sabotage anything I do outside the daily grind of his tech career. That would be most everything in my life, even back when I had an outside career of my own. Maybe especially then. He still doesn't like to admit his wife was a construction crew leader.

I grew up in rented farmhouses with distant landlords and investors manipulating the strings from stations even more mysterious than Daddy's busy life. Kinda eerie to feel like the love of my life is melding with those shadowy figures. Not the first time. We grew up on opposite sides of the silver platter and, after 36 years, I still don't feel like a member of his family. There are store clerks I know better than his brother and co-landlord.

Sorting. . .