Still healing

I opened this profile last week and as I've read the posts I've found such a connection. I still find myself wondering how this divorce thing will all end up for me. I was married 30 yrs. I am now divorced 1 yr 3 months but separated prior to that 2 yrs. He had 4 affairs that I am aware of but now realize there were probably many more. I was devastated and at a total loss and still find myself trying to heal. I did therapy and a divorce care group and finally found myself realizing the codependency I had lived in all of my life. I also learned more about addictive personalities which I now know my ex has.
I have always felt that I had to provide support to him and keep our family together. I always told myself he was the love of my life and he was the only person I had ever been with.
So, the rejection finally being for real was a shock to my psyche. I have improved in how I deal with my guilt and I am continuing to improve. I just wonder sometimes if i will be alone the rest of my life. That was not my life goal at all but it seems this is my new view of how life will be.
I have 2 wonderful adult children who had no idea of the things going on in my marriage until it fell apart. They are developing new ways of relating to their father. I have had total support and care from both of them. I do not live near them I at this time in my life I am finding this to be a difficult thing. Currently my job is stable so I am looking at the way to eventually live near one of them.
I am going to continue to grow and my codependency tendency will change as well. I have made progress in the past 2 years and will remind myself of the positive things I have accomplished.