still hangin in there

Well Dad is in icu stepdown....he was finally well enough to do a cat scan with contrast to find out what is up.......well it is definately pneumonia and also the true root of all evil is a pancreatic abcess.  Today they are going to put in a drain that will be with him for months....the dr and everyone thinks this is good news....i on the other hand am discouraged and very tired....when he first got sick it was feb 20...everything has changed since then.  and now the dr says he will prob have this drain for months.  I am honestly and truly exhausted, since i am the primary care giver it means "we" will have a drain for at least 2 months or more.   I want nothing more than for him to get better but he could sure use a break.  if i didnt have to work also it wouldnt be so bad but i have stress with my jobs....2 .....and i have to have them to pay the bills..........also i have to do continuing education to keep my licenses and have to figure out how to get all that.  it is frustrating.  my daughter is also due to have her baby(due date is may 8th)  some days it is so much i feel like i cant breath.  i always try to be happy and positive around my dad so it will help with his healing but sometimes i have to go to the bathroom to just re group. i feel like i am at my absolute limits.....i am also starting to feel unhealthy myself....not that i was in great shape at all before but now i am feeling awful.  well today is gonna be an hour by hour day i think.